Anticipation

I have been a practicing Buddhist for going on 9 years. One of the essential teachings of the Buddha is to stay in the moment. The past is done; it cannot be changed and is therefore irrelevant. The future hasn't happened yet; the only thing that is of any importance is this very moment. This philosophy has been the thing I have struggled with all my life. I can't "live in the now." For some reason, I need something to look forward to. And without that anticipation of some future event, I find it hard to want to do anything. Hard to focus, hard to feel excitement. It is irksome to say the least. But for now, this is not an issue because next week, my boys and I will be road-trippin' it to Texas for my kid sister's wedding and some much needed fam time. Yay doesn't even begin to cover it. So for now, I will bask in the glow of something to look forward to and hopefully one day decide that this very moment, no matter how mundane, is good enough for me.