Monday, October 23, 2006

I just remembered this is a knitting blog

Prepare yourself for massive purging of TMI, which as many of you know is my specialty. But if I pour it all out here, you're all spared having to listen to my bitching in real life. You're welcome.
I have been knitting....quite a lot actually. The chunky green sweater was done in a week (check out the flickr for the pic), I'm almost done with Christmas knitting (minus Brian's hopefully awesome sweater), and I'm more than halfway done with a cute little lacey raglan for myself. Right now, knitting is the only thing keeping me from crying my eyes out.
This has been a very tough week for us here at Casa de la Wright. Perrin has officially become the schoolyard bully, and I can't for the life of me figure out what's going on with him. Is it normal 2 yr old behavior or am I the world's worst mom? It's nearly impossible to find another mom who will admit that her kid is ever anything but perfection, so it's difficult to gauge what "normal" is. Although normal for any offspring of mine is definitely subject to interpretation. My one major insecurity is always worrying that everything I do as a parent is screwing the kid up. I pretty much rock at everything else :) My own mom was so extraordinary that it's almost impossible to live up to those standards.
In other news, I am socializing. Helen and I have started our own little knitting group, and it's a very much needed opportunity to get out of the house minus toddler and talk to a grownup. I dig her. I realize that after I hang out with a new person, I go home and replay the entire dialogue in my head and critique myself on whether or not I was inappropriate. A habit I formed back in the day when I totally offended every person I encountered. I find myself trying so hard to keep conversation safe and small-talky that I don't really show my true personality. I'm now understanding that holding back a little bit might actually be a societal norm I didn't pick up. Maybe we're supposed to save our truest selves, the part of us that can be dark or just a little too weird for public, to the people we know will accept us in all our forms. And that keeping these social experiences light and fun doesn't mean we're being fake. I'm learning that telling someone my entire life story isn't necessary for them to know who I am or to decide if they want to be my friend. I'm still learning, still developing these social skills that I never really acquired growing up.
So......I will have knitting pics up soon. No cartoon this week just cuz I didn't feel like drawing one. Try not to cry yourself to sleep in disappointment. I must go do laundry. Good day.


helen said...

ah yes. saving parts of ourselves. perfectly logical, and i daresay we all do it.

the topics we ranged yesterday were quite varied and enjoyable. i really like the library. many more weeks to follow

Subhuman Superwoman said...

So I AM starting to get it. That certainly is comforting.

Ceci said...

haha, some parts of us would scare everyone away except those most special people and we'd all be really lonely.

I'm crying over the lack of comic. (Though, the cashmere goats were so cute, I think they'll keep me going.)

Sorry I haven't been posting. I haven't blogcrawled in weeks. Sigh. I know what you mean about the schoolyard bully. Brent is just awful sometimes. He won't stop tackling Sarah and Richard. He makes poor little Rick cry all the time. I feel so bad.

I envy you your cold weather. It's like, 60 here, and I'm using it as an excuse to cast on my Colinette Prism.

entrelac said...

Um, Ceci? What does "/* mean? Is that Brent-speak for something? ;) Tucker, trust me, you're not alone. :)

Ceci said...

Ana: ???

Subhuman Superwoman said...

Thanks guys. It's very encouraging to know that I'm not alone in the frustrated parent department. Perrin has been soooo much better this week though, and that could be simply that my attitude has changed. I swear he's so intuitive that he knows when something is going on with me.