Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Happy 6th Birthday to my live-in Zen Master

Six years ago at this exact moment, I went into labor with the coolest, funniest, and most incredible human being I've ever known. I won't go into specifics on the labor, cuz nobody wants to hear all that, but I will say that I cherish every second of it all to bring this unique and special child into this world.
When I was pregnant with Perrin, I read this book called "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting" back when I was a more devout Buddhist than I am today. It was refreshing and honest, and there was one part that rings especially true for me today. The author compared children to zen masters in that they are ever evolving, adapting to what is around them. "They are undeniably present. They are constantly learning, developing, changing, and requiring new responses from us. As they grow, they seem to challenge every place that we might be holding an expectation, a fixed opinion, a cherished belief, a desire for things to be a certain way." Children teach us about the world, about ourselves, how to be in each moment without obsessing about what will happen in the next. Perrin has been my greatest and most faithful teacher in this way. He embodies both consistency and unpredictability. He lives in a world apart from ours, and some days I want so desperately for him to spend more time in ours, and on others, I envy him the ability to exist inside himself without thought or care to the chaos that surrounds him. He is beautiful and strange and has many gifts to give the world. I can't wait to see what he does next.

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