Cuz you're filthy. And I'm gorgeous.

Lookeee. An actual WIP. I started on this during my girly road trip a coupla weeks ago. I'm almost finished. Gotta sew on the cabled edge at the top and figure out what the harfnar I'm going to do with the bottom. I was going for the cutesy baby doll top kinda thing, but I always get lazy and bind off too short. So...it needs length. Just a few inches of another cutesy edging perhaps or doing the same cabling at the bottom. Still working ou the kinks.
My hubby has commissioned the weirdest thing ever. He wants me to knit a tube for the plastic sacks we keep for various tasks around the house. He said, "Like a sock, you know? With a small hole at the bottom to pull the sacks out." Now doesn't that sound like oodles and oodles of mind-numbing circular knitting? I'll get around to it eventually, I suppose, since he is nice and stuff. After this stockinette nightmare, I'll probably end up doing some kind of intricate cabling or something to break up the monotony. Won't that be fab?

Everything's coming up Milhouse

Meet the new member of the Subhuman family....Milhouse. He's a 3 month old schnoodle (schnauzer/poodle), and he's the cutest damned thing I've ever seen.

In other news, I'm back to knitting. And if you think I'm the kind of person that would take her knitting on a wild road trip through the midwest, you'd be right. I just didn't get a whole lot done for obvious reasons. Damn this social life getting in the way of yarny progress. I'll have some sort of progress pics when it's sort of obvious what I'm making. At this point, not so much.

If I could turn back TIOME!

Highlights from the diner girl road trip. Too tired to discuss in detail.

Accidentally broke into Ft. Knox
Got to reenact the Prehistoric Forest scene from Tommy Boy
Karaoked to Cher
Hung out with bleacher bums at an Irish pub in Cleveland and discovered my love for Guiness and apple cider
Wore tshirts with the phrase "I Love Butt Drugs" to 2 baseball games, causing more than 100 people to inquire (drunkenly) "what are butt drugs?" Hint: it's a pharmacy.
Joined in a "soul train" line on a Chicago cruise
Visited 6 states in 6 days
Stayed in a glitzy Mag Mile hotel for about $50.
Gazed upon the genius that was the werewolf mask and red leather jacket from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame
Visited a 2 story outhouse
Had the best chocolate malt of my life at Butt Drugs
Spent 6 days with 2 of the coolest chicks to ever walk the planet

Good gravy. There's oodles more. Manda took nearly 3000 pics (not an exaggeration) That's all I've got for this day.
Enjoy some pics

Half-assed fanny pack

Tomorrow Manda will be here, and I'll show her around Chicago. Wed, Kelly arrives, and we take a lake cruise and sip martinis. Thurs, we out. Not to return until Monday, and we're so exhausted and vacationed out that we're walking comas. I'm so excited I could pee my pants every second until they're here. These are my girls. I would walk through fire for either of them, and they know it. Kelly and I have been friends since the 7th grade; we can practically read each other's thoughts. Anyway, there will be mega recaps when it's over and oodles of pictures of us grabbing each other breasts....and probably some architecture.
Item essential for the trip...the fanny pack. I wasn't about to go out and purchase one. Not b/c I think I'm too "cool" for one; hell, I've never cared one bit about what was considered cool by the masses. I just had yarn and a desire to make my own. Here's what we're calling the most half-assed knit ever. Sure it looks decent from the outside; what you don't see is the craptacular liner I "sewed" (we're using this term loosely here) so my keys won't poke out between the stitches. Did I have some kind of proper materials for this? Of course not, so I used an old white tshirt. MacGyver, look the hell out. Yup, those are apple buttons for added cuteness. I like it, and it'll hold my necessites...ID, cashola, chapstick, and cell. What else does a girl need while looking at the world's ugliest Lincoln statue?
Behave, my lovelies, cuz I sure won't.

Sneakpeeksville of Fairy Princess sweater

I am so proud of myself that I have managed to do enough maddening math to come up with a design that I think I can easily manipulate into at least 3 different sizes. This is my "rough draft" if you will of the fairy princess sweater. Puffy sleeves, ruffled cuffs, and the schematics for the wings. I've got the pattern written up for the wings; I just have to get started on them. They will theoretically be sewn onto the back and buttoned at the top of each wing so that they can be released to flap around as the little princesses fly around. I'm nervous and excited about how it will be received if I ever manage to get the other 2 sizes knitted up and the whole thing written to perfection and submit for publication somewhere. Yes, I'm aware that this post is loaded with run ons, but I've had WAY too much caffeine today, so I'm a little wired! If you happen upon this blog, or are one of my lovely friends, please leave me a comment and let me know what you think. By the way, the sweater shown above is a size 4T, and I actually made my son wear it so I know it fits that age. He actually kinda liked it.

Maybe a prostitute could teach you how to take a compliment

I actually finished the Krista tee a few weeks ago. I knew I would run out of a very impossible to find yarn, so I made it a tank top. I sewed on some i-cord, and I hate it. I like the tank just fine I suppose, even though the cotton is a tad stiff, but I truly despise the i-cord straps. I'm going to take them off and try something else...maybe some a thick band of elastic so that they'll actually stay on.
My new obsession with stenciling has reached mega fun proportions, but I've had to add a few tshirts to my wardrobe to accomodate it. Here's a little sumthin' I whipped up with a handmade stencil (it's our little family symbol John and I will be getting in tattoo form one day) done with the awesome bleach pen.

I'm so over trying to pose all pretty-like, so this is what you're getting.
My first attempt at design is coming along beautifully. Once I finish the cuffs, I'll post a pic. I'm pretty delighted with the way it's turning out, even though I'm not thrilled with the yarn. I think I'm just flat out tired of cotton. I'm ready to go back to wool.
2 weeks till my diner gal road trip! I'm so excited. No, excited is too boring for what I'm feeling about this trip. Elated? Overwhelmingly blissed out? Getting closer.

There is no Dana, only Zool.

Now we're getting somewhere. I have felt a sudden surge of inspiration from deep within my belly. I don't know why it's there; I don't question these things. I've been designing my little ass off, knitting feverishly, and making birthday presents with a burst of energy and much fun. Here are the recent fruits of my labor.
The Krista tee. I bought this pattern ages ago and have just never found the time to do it. It's worked flat in pieces, but I'm doing it in the round to the pits, just cuz I hate the seaming. I'm also finally using the green cotton that Robin gave me when I first started knitting. This would be the 3rd project started with it. For some reason, I muck up every pattern I have tried. This time, I think I got it right.

Then there's this darling hat that I designed myself (minus the flower. that required a pattern) for my dear friend Koz, who just had a baby girl this month.

But wait. There's more. Here are the tshirts I've reconstructed for my sisters for their upcoming birthdays. I used stencils I made myself, some strategically sprayed bleach, and cut the long sleeves off.

And just for good measure, I thought I'd throw in the tank top I'm working on. I'm making this out of a sheet that was my husband's as a baby.


Rather productive, wouldn't you say?

One day you are gonna get hungry, and eat most of the words you just said

Oh, new stuff galore. I've been playing around with tshirt reconstruction, and so far, I've done one stencil and one freehand. Here's what I came up with.
The first is my favorite quote from "Romeo and Juliet." There's more to it, of course, but I ran outta room cuz I did the stars first.

This is some lyrics from Ani DiFranco's fantastic song "32 Flavors."

And the last thing is the Cubs koozies for my road trip with Kel and Manda next month. Easy peasy; just took a few hours, and now our beers will stay lukewarm.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for an adorable tank top sewn from an old baby sheet of John's that was handed down to Perrin and some more tshirt designs.

Stop looking through the peephole. You look like a cameraman

Why have I not been updatey? Cuz, I haven't really been doing much knitting. I've been painting and moving and unpacking and organizing and decorating and cleaning and biting the heads off bats. Oh wait. Forget that last one. I haven't been doing that one....yet.
I am delving into that wonderful, yet overly mathematical world of design. But my flakiness and fickletude is getting the better of me, and I'm starting to feel defeated by it. In the last 5 years, I have flirted with at least 5 different career paths. It isn't that I'm not ambitious or that I'm lazy. It's that I truly want to do everything. I want to be a writer, a knitwear designer, a rock star, and every other superiorly fun thing out there. This life is simply too short to do one thing forever. However, once I get into something, I always find a reason to give up. I think I'm just overwhelmed by all the possibilities. I do have a few things that I'm working on, but I really hate talking about it to people b/c I know everyone thinks I'm a flake and that I won't follow through on it. So rather than get all excited and make myself look like a giant ass when I put it aside later, I'll just keep it to myself and try very hard to ignore that part of me that wants to surrender to mediocrity.

It was money, baby!

Got back from TX last night, and man alive, am I tired. There was much booze, much fam love, much friends, much yummy food. Here are the highlights.
Steph, my little baby sister, graduated high school. I got a little weepy. Yeah, I'll admit it. It wasn't until the end when the grads gave their parents roses that the waterworks began. Here we are...the 3 Tucker girls.

It was a fabulously relaxing weekend. I did a little knitting, a whole lot of lounging, and even more partying. A friend from high school threw a huge toga blowout for me and Kelly, since we hadn't all been together in more than 5 years. It's funny how when you're 21, all you talk about is college and the last party you went to. In your late 20s, however, you mostly just talk about your kids. It was sweet and crazy and Kelly surprised me by bringing over a great friend of ours from back in our partying days. Good ole' "while you're down there" Brian. Yeah, there's a story behind the name. And you probably don't wanna hear it. A few gems from that evening. It's togarrific.



But if you didn't know already, the absolute highlight of my trip was my awesome meeting of the talented yumminess that is Vince Vaughn. Gaze upon this eye candy whilst you read the story.

I was wandering through DFW on my way back to Chicago when I had a hankering for some Reese's Pieces. So I shimmied over to a little shop, and there was this massive dude standing right in the doorway with his back to me. So I scooted by him with a very polite "Excuse me" and when he stepped aside, it was Mr. Dreamboat himself. I almost swooned. I blinked in my "I just saw a celebrity" dorkiness, and when he caught me, I just smiled and said "Hi" in a much cooler voice than I thought was going to leap outta my mouth. He actually said "Hi" back like any 2 strangers would. I felt ultra mega multi cool that I didnt' geek out and try to be all "I am such a huge fan. Could you maybe, um, marry me a little?" A couple of other goons did it, and he was super sweet and signed autographs, but it was obvious he was really tired.
So, that was my trip. This week I move. Next week, I rule the world.

Need a lipgloss boost in your America

Finito babydolls - Puff Sleeved Cardigan from "Fitted Knits"
Obvious mod - instead of the kinda tricky lace at the bottom, I did a lattice stitch. Mucho likey this stitch.
Yarn used - Lion Brand Microspun in lavender. It took me forever to finish this b/c Michael's took forever to get more of this color. I chose it b/c I had 3 skeins of it and am truly attempting to destash. It took me a little less than 5 total.

In other news. We close on house in 2 days. In 3 days, I'm off to TX for some fam bonding and partying with old friends. Yay! I hear there is to be togas and booze - a frightening combination. Kel asked me if I was going to go nudely under my toga. I think not, my dear friend. If that sheet loosens too much, that's a nip slip that would not likely make folk giddy.

I am a MILF don't you forget

So......

We close on our new house in exactly one week. I'm still working on the puff sleeved cardigan. I bought some new shoes. Here they are.

My oldest and dearest friend is a smitten kitten. My baby sis graduates high school in about 10 days. Our mouse in our house who's becoming a louse (who I refuse to kill) has become so bold now that she hangs out with me on the couch while I'm knitting. We've tried all of the humane things we can think of and none of them work, so I'm thinking she's just supposed to live here. She likes Kix.
Not much else going on. I have book club tonight. I inhaled "The Other Boleyn Girl" like crack. It was beautifully written and made me even more thankful that I was not born in a time when women did as they were told and lived miserable lives. Also bought the new Tori Amos album. It is simply brilliant. The best since "Scarlet's Walk." If you love you some Tori, pick it up. You will not be disappointed.

If you don't wanna be down with me, then you don't wanna be from my apple tree

Behold my highly modified coquette lace tube top from Stefanie Japel's "Fitted Knits."
Yarn - 4 skeins of Elann's Sonata in rosetta
Mods - Well, first off, I put on straps b/c I have too much boobage for a tube top. Then I added 3 repeats of the lace pattern and omitted the ribbing entirely. Instead I added a chunky hem to add a little length. I also threaded some i-cord through the lace on the ribbing b/c it was a little baggy at the top.
Verdict - I adore this top. I can't wait to wear it in public. It's finally starting to get a little hot here, so I'll likely wear this often.

Sure, I can be coquette

I started this adorable little number this week whilst I wait for Michael's to stock up their microspun. This is a quick, easy fun knit...much like all of Stefanie Japel's other patterns. I'm using Elann's Sonata in rosetta; I got this in a trade with a chickie from knitty. I'm digging this yarn. It's typical cotton in its kinda difficult to knit with craptacularness, but it's so pretty I can forgive it. And I've washed a swatch to the point of groovy softness. That's what is not too terrible about cotton; the more you wash it, the more tolerable it becomes.

Strangers with candy

Some days, my faith in humanity is restored to its usual vibrance just by a total stranger showing some compassion and genuine empathy. It seems rare these days that this happens, as when Perrin is throwing his legendary tantrums. This is usually a time of much dread at watching an array of shocked onlookers who are quietly whispering to their friends "What's wrong with that kid?" However, today as I was battling with the kiddo at the museum to get his jacket on, and he's thrashing like a great white with a seal, a mom walked over to me, put her hand on my shoulder and told me I was a great mom and that I had so much patience. She said, "We've all been there, and I think you're doing a great job." I almost cried. It was so sweet and so unexpected. She didn't have to comfort me; she could have just walked away with her kids, feeling sorry for me. Instead, she took the few seconds and made someone feel better about a difficult situation. I wanted to kiss her full on the lips, I tell ya. If more of us took the time to verbally show our empathy to total strangers, maybe our world could be a little more pleasant. Just wanted to share.

Stop it now. I mean it. Anybody want a peanut?

Not a whole lot of progress here. Mostly b/c I have returned to my first love...reading. I joined a book club and am feverishly devouring "The Other Boleyn Girl" by Phillipa Gregory. It is fascinating and beautifully tragic. It is a fictional account of Anne Boleyn's sister, Mary, as her family forced her to become Henry VIII's mistress so that she could bear the heir and gain favor for them. It's delightful. They wanted her to be queen; she only wanted to be a farmer's wife and raise her babies.
Back to knitting. I am working on the cardigan, but I have decided to do the bat shaped lace from Barbara Walker's third treasury instead of the one Stefanie Japel wrote out for it. I just want something a little different. I'm almost out of yarn, and the yarn shop is out of it, so it's on hold for awhile. Gives me more time to wallow in the affairs of 16th century England.

Ultralord is not afraid of chickens

Progress on the lovely puff-sleeved cardi is going well. I'm suddenly back in love with the microspun. I made Mariposa with it when I was still a newb to knitting, and the yarn split so much I wanted to throw it across the room on more than one occasion. Now that I'm more experienced and have the awesome super sharp Knitpicks Options set, this yarn is once again in my good graces.
Now, for life stuff. I'm so overwhelmingly, smack-yo-mama happy right now I could just squeeeeee. In the last few months, I have made a tremendously awesome friend, watched as my son did the same, bought a great house to spend the next chapter of my life in, and fulfilled one of my greatest dreams. Not too shabby, eh? My marriage is so wonderful; I love John a little more every time I look at him. Perrin is growing to be such a funny, sweet little person that has this unique personality that will inevitably cause him to be both an exhausting and amazing person to know. I have several things to look forward to - the move to Naperville, my trip to TX to see my baby sis graduate high school, and the arrival of "the diner gals" in July for our Cubs road trip. I know where my life is heading, and I am loving every second of it.

the Superwoman's capelet

This darling thing took maybe 4 hours to complete. Delightfully fun and easy as well. Forgive the lack of cutesy closure; I'm thinking maybe hanging some cute charms on the safety pin instead of a broach. I like to be different.

I'm currently engaged in the puff sleeved cardigan from Stefanie Japel's awesome book, "Fitted Knits." I'm using some lavender Microspun Robin gave me ages ago. Progress pics after today's knitting session with Helen.

"I looked at the trap, Ray."

I've been a busy bee. Here's the stuff I've been knitting. A messenger style backpack that will be embroidered and felted for your pleasure. And this darling capelet inspired by one Anthropolgie. Got this pattern from Crafster. I'm actually about halfway done with it now; I took this pic yesterday. I'm knitting it with 2 strands of Caron Simply Soft together. The messenger is the leftover of the Peer Gynt wool that I made 2 other bags out of. It's a tad too scratchy to do anything but felted things.


Oh, and then there's the hair thing. I've used Manic Panic dye before and have noticed that it faded to a gross orangey pink after just 3 washes. Not my cup o' tea. So, I took the advice of some chicas on Punk Rock Domestics and invested in some kick-ass Special Effex in Nuclear Red. Trust me, honies. This color is insanely red. Took the kiddo to Burger King today, and the entire restaurant stopped to stare. On to mas knitting.

Ode to the mutha, Thermal take 2, and new hair

"When life gets you down, you know what ya gotta do? Just keep swimming." Dory has the right idea, and my mom broke it down to me like this. "This too shall pass." When I was in the Army, and I would cry myself to sleep, those words from my mother kept me alive. Restored the hope that no matter what life threw at me, I could overcome. I want those words with me always. So here they are...in my mother's actual handwriting. Thank you Noodles from Tomato Tattoos for giving my mom's words of comfort a permanent home on my body. And thank you Mom, for being a constant force of strength and beauty in my life. I love you.


Oh, and here's the new hair. The yellow was just the middle man from black to red. Can't have the cuteness without a little bleachiness.



And last, but not least, the freshly blocked Thermal. Original picture - preblocked. Looked craptacular.


And now, voila - a sweater I will wear. Who knew that blocking could add SEVERAL inches to this sweater. A lot of girls on the knitalong have expressed issues with the shortness, but after 1 wonderful gal said she was able to lengthen substantially by blocking, I thought I'd give it another chance. Sorry, Jen, this one's a keeper.