tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-309951262024-03-14T02:51:33.009-05:00Subhuman SuperwomanA room of my own. Where I say what I want, dress how I want, and live how I want. Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.comBlogger173125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-39810728675189359142014-04-28T14:54:00.001-05:002014-04-28T14:54:22.453-05:00Feed yo face<p> </p> <p>This has been a rough year so far, so writing has taken quite a backseat. To be honest, caring for myself took a backseat this winter. But I shan’t go into it here, because this is my drama and stress free zone. To make an untold story short, life is getting much better for me and my family, and I now have a little free time to pamper myself. This pretty much just consists of taking uninterrupted showers that last longer than 2 minutes, drinking an entire cup of coffee whilst it is still hot, working out, and reading a book in silence. After 2 years of homeschooling my son, we all decided it was time for a change, so he now attends school 3 hours a day.  It is the perfect amount of time for him to enjoy some more social time with friends, get in a little extra academics, and give us both some much needed time apart. I love the hell out of that kid, and he loves the hell out of me, but we are so alike that our heads pretty much stay butted. </p> <p>Moving right on to the entire point of this slightly coherent rambling, the point of this is that I am aging. I know. I know. Despite my almost embarrassing love of young adult novels where children slaughter each other (because reasons) and obsession with celebrity gossip, I am not 22.  I have fought a 20 year battle with acne that is still raging at 36 years old. It started when I was 17, and because of my OCD, I popped every glorious pimple that erupted on my face. Of course I had no idea that the consequence of that sweet release would be permanent pitting and discoloration. When I was in the Army, I had a series of glycolic acid peels, which back then actually felt like someone throwing acid on my face and did nothing but make my face insanely red for days and then peel. Not the best way to blend in like a good little soldier. I gave up. At 20, I finally found a sulfur-based facewash that worked to keep my skin clear, but it was crazy hard to find and expensive for my broke ass. Still, I used it faithfully for years, and my skin was free from breakouts for years. Then I had a baby, and my skin decided it wanted to be disgusting again. So I used Proactiv, which was brutally harsh and tore my face up even more. And all the while, I was slathering on layers of makeup on top of damaged skin that yearned to breathe free. </p> <p>Then I finally bit the bullet and decided that it’d be worth the credit card debt to be free of these scars, so I endured months of photofacials and microdermabrasions. While it didn’t eliminate the scarring, I finally felt like I could go swimming without makeup on and worry that people were staring at my red cheeks. I found a regiment of Aveeno facewash and Alba oil control lotion and stuck with that for the last two years. It dries the hell out of my face and contains a shit ton of salicylic acid and chemicals I can’t pronounce, and I worried about what all those chemicals are doing to my skin in the long term. </p> <p>Enter oils. Yeah, it sounds nutballs to intentionally slather oil on your oily skin, but consider me converted. I was inspired to give it a try by the girl who did my facial a few weeks ago, so I did a crazy amount of research on the topic and came up with these two badass sites that go into great detail about which kinds work for each skin type, gives great ratios to try, and guided me through each step. </p> <p><a title="http://www.minimalistbeauty.com/oils-specifically-for-acne-prone-skin/" href="http://www.minimalistbeauty.com/oils-specifically-for-acne-prone-skin/">http://www.minimalistbeauty.com/oils-specifically-for-acne-prone-skin/</a></p> <p><a title="http://www.crunchybetty.com/trying-and-troubleshooting-the-oil-cleansing-method-tips-for-flawless-oil-cleansed-skin" href="http://www.crunchybetty.com/trying-and-troubleshooting-the-oil-cleansing-method-tips-for-flawless-oil-cleansed-skin">http://www.crunchybetty.com/trying-and-troubleshooting-the-oil-cleansing-method-tips-for-flawless-oil-cleansed-skin</a></p> <p>I have been using this method for a little more than a week, and I have been amazed at how different my skin feels. No more dryness at night, no more disgusting oil slick when I wake up, and my skin tone is more evened than it has been in years. Here’s what I have been using. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-bd6RnkCnKK8/U16x5hm5eWI/AAAAAAAAAnM/F1Fh2VKM8gw/s1600-h/Spring2014%252520014%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring2014 014" style="border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border-top-width: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring2014 014" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-OH3kvcnfQWY/U16x6eV12sI/AAAAAAAAAnQ/l1BAbV1q17E/Spring2014%252520014_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="476" height="285" /></a></p> <p>And here’s what I do. If you decide to give this a try, read as much as you can about the different carrier oils and figure out what type of skin you have. I plan to try out a variety of oils in the future, but this is what I’ll stick with for now because I love it like Joanie loves Chachi. </p> <p>In the morning, I wet my face with warm water and rub on a nickel sized amount of the raw honey for about a minute and rinse off. It smells awesome, and my skin is so smooth and clean feeling afterwards. Then I use the Alba sunscreen – It has natural ingredients without harsh chemicals that sting like a lot of sunscreens seem to do for me. I was using Acure Facial Cleansing Crème with argon oil and mint, but it so drying that my skin was flaking pretty badly, and I needed to spot moisturize with the oil blend. Here’s some great info on raw honey, and why it so kickass. <a title="http://www.minimalistbeauty.com/raw-honey-the-healing-face-wash/" href="http://www.minimalistbeauty.com/raw-honey-the-healing-face-wash/">http://www.minimalistbeauty.com/raw-honey-the-healing-face-wash/</a></p> <p>At night, I slather on my blend of castor oil, sunflower seed oil, and tea tree oil (I mixed 2 tsps castor to 1 tsp sunflower seed with a dash of tea tree oil and keep it in a little glass bottle). Then I followed the instructions from Crunchy Betty. It feels like an at-home facial leaving my skin clean and refreshed. Plus, the oils have no smell at all, and such a tiny amount of tea tree oil is pretty mild smelling, and I dig it. After I’ve scrubbed all the oil and makeup off, I rub on a very tiny amount of tamanu oil while my face is still wet and hot, letting the oil seep into my open pores. Tamanu oil is supposed to be amazing and magical for acne and scarring, so I’m optimistic. It is a pretty decent moisturizer and blends in quickly. IT does have a rather weird smell, but once it’s blended in, it pretty much dissipates. I had my husband sniff my face, and he didn’t vomit, so it’s fine. Since I’ve been using it, my skin is hydrated without being oily in the morning. It did cause a little redness and dryness the first couple of nights, but this morning I woke up to glowing skin.  </p> <p>Now, the photographic evidence!! I have not allowed my naked face to be viewed by human eyes not married or blood-related to me since 1995. It’s not perfect, but I no longer feel like a beast. I’m being brave and facing a fear, so be kind. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-FG1NyTPZWfc/U16x6m0IygI/AAAAAAAAAnc/l8-bz2LluqE/s1600-h/Spring2014%252520004%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring2014 004" style="border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border-top-width: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring2014 004" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-nLgv95Kmprw/U16x7BJvYsI/AAAAAAAAAng/AY6HsL-8U8c/Spring2014%252520004_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="451" height="270" /></a></p> <p>When I started this routine, my forehead was covered in little breakouts, and I had a huge zit between my eyes. Two days later, it was gone, and I haven’t had a single breakout since. I haven’t needed to blot the oil off as much throughout the day, and my makeup glides on much more smoothly. </p> <p>I’m still on the hunt for a decent mineral makeup that I like, because my fancy Korean bb cream is now making my eyes sting, which cannot be a good sign. I’m sure it’s chock-full of delicious poison anyway, so I need to stop wearing it. But that is a tale for another day. </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-76006220457216232512013-07-07T15:35:00.001-05:002013-07-08T12:39:41.500-05:00Modcloth MadnessI adore vintage style clothing, and Modcloth is pretty much just that. I have been snatching and grabbing up as much as I can from this site for years. My favorite thing about the site is that buyers can leave detailed reviews, including pictures, of the clothes they buy. So if you are nervous about buying something because you have a wonky high waist, like me, you can see how it looks on someone with a similar build. You also get a good idea of how well the material will hold up with repeated wearing and washing. It’s the bee’s knees. It is, hands down, my favorite online shop, so I wanted to show off a few of my favorite purchases. <a href="http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/pull-up-a-cherry-dress">http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/pull-up-a-cherry-dress</a><br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-FcgoJ4Rp3uk/UdnRCr9-krI/AAAAAAAAAgw/2YsZdPxoQPc/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520040%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Spring 2013 040" border="0" height="375" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-IeP5qENAOZc/UdnRDanpmxI/AAAAAAAAAg4/IHtFjonQYxk/Spring%2525202013%252520040_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Spring 2013 040" width="282" /></a><br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-uShFEf7Gzcw/UdnRENXYewI/AAAAAAAAAhA/H-epkKS9dsY/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520037%25255B8%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Spring 2013 037" border="0" height="382" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-yxA6t9EqcX8/UdnREyHFrKI/AAAAAAAAAhI/Lp2xbk9K0Jo/Spring%2525202013%252520037_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Spring 2013 037" width="288" /></a><br />
This dress is so amazingly awesome. It is a sturdy cotton with pleats all around and a bow in the back. I wore this to Cigars and Stripes with my girl, Kate, to see a kickass rockabilly band called The Butterfields. She and I were dressed so adorably rockabilly that the band hung out with us for awhile after their set and actually told us they were afraid they wouldn’t be rockabilly enough for us. It was hilarious. Those guys were so fun, and it was nice to chat up some other rockabilly fans about music. <br />
<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-II_pRrNsjgY/UdnRFdRIbrI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/eIcudDzcous/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520028%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Spring 2013 028" border="0" height="356" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-HsPw_nOyVGc/UdnRFyEC97I/AAAAAAAAAhY/_fGO9tGPl-M/Spring%2525202013%252520028_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Spring 2013 028" width="356" /></a><br />
It’s hard to tell from the picture, but Kate is also rocking a Modcloth dress. It’s a dark purple cotton dress that is supremely adorable on her. <br />
<a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-XMdcly6Guj4/UdnRGZJOVJI/AAAAAAAAAhg/2F0tNP70xK4/s1600-h/Summer%2525202013%252520048%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Summer 2013 048" border="0" height="518" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-TnVRsdHhoC0/UdnRGzp9sEI/AAAAAAAAAho/YxQPzuEWnwQ/Summer%2525202013%252520048_thumb%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Summer 2013 048" width="294" /></a><br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-Xv1TSp0xrpA/UdnRHUn7teI/AAAAAAAAAhw/URj6zlGJetQ/s1600-h/Summer%2525202013%252520050%25255B6%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Summer 2013 050" border="0" height="506" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-gV6tEKIG2ac/UdnRHzpLQcI/AAAAAAAAAh4/c2Ik8wm_R2c/Summer%2525202013%252520050_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Summer 2013 050" width="286" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/detail-ornamented-dress">http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/detail-ornamented-dress</a>This lovely little number I have worn twice this week. I wore it early in the week to the Museum of Science and Industry with the boy, and the dude who worked the Tesla Coil told me that he had an overwhelming urge to ask me to dance. Then he did a little jig for me. I giggled. Yes, giggled. What else is a girl supposed to do with such a comment? This dress is a satiny polyester, which makes it a tad on the warmer side, so wearing it to the Hot Air Balloon Festival yesterday when it was about 85 degrees and swampy humid was not the most practical move, but I felt fabulous. Seriously, what else do you wear to a hot air balloon festival but a vintage style dress and a flower in your hair?<br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-BeMzX-d_1tA/UdnRIWKHIqI/AAAAAAAAAiA/CUZ1cHnmDi0/s1600-h/Summer%2525202013%252520105%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Summer 2013 105" border="0" height="273" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-coLYxLdirfg/UdnRIyTzlxI/AAAAAAAAAiI/gFxcxizqig4/Summer%2525202013%252520105_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Summer 2013 105" width="363" /></a><br />
The latest outfit I acquired from Modcloth is a hunter green romper that I haven’t actually worn for a full day yet. I intended to wear it yesterday to the festival, but I had a last minute change of heart and wore the dress. <a href="http://www.modcloth.com/shop/shorts-rompers/rise-and-pine-romper">http://www.modcloth.com/shop/shorts-rompers/rise-and-pine-romper</a><br />
<a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-QmQLL45X-CE/UdnRJtNxu7I/AAAAAAAAAiQ/p1DSb0USk9c/s1600-h/Summer%2525202013%252520046%25255B6%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Summer 2013 046" border="0" height="511" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-2_A3IfBGcfI/UdnRKKE8EMI/AAAAAAAAAiY/ayIrQfPKsAk/Summer%2525202013%252520046_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Summer 2013 046" width="289" /></a><br />
It’s honestly a tad bit big, and the elastic waistband sags a little bit in the back, but it is very comfortable, and I think I’ll actually wear this more in the fall with tights and a cardigan. <br />
Modcloth also has a free return policy where, if you don’t dig what you bought, you stick it back in the box, slap the return label on it, and pop it in the mail. Easy peasy. I have actually returned a few things simply because they didn’t look quite right on my disproportioned body. <br />
So that’s my favorite place to shop. They should give me free clothes from this little endorsement, don’ t you think? Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-38517730243879647512013-06-20T18:02:00.001-05:002013-06-20T18:02:28.768-05:00Why I’m a Humanist<p> </p> <p>I truly believe that we live in a beautiful, magical world where there are far more good people than bad. </p> <p>Because more people have held the door open for me than have shut it in my face.</p> <p>Because my mother taught me that if I treat people with kindness and compassion, they will return it. And this is absolutely true. </p> <p>Because when I had a screaming toddler in the throes of a massive meltdown, a seasoned mom took the time to share a moment of solidarity and prevented me from bursting into tears. </p> <p>Because there have been countless therapists, teachers, and doctors who worked tirelessly to help my child function better in this world that doesn’t always know where to fit him in. </p> <p>Because there’s a guy who makes youtube videos of himself dancing with large groups of people in every country he goes to, and it proves that there is a universal bond that we share. And that is joy. </p> <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:f5d6c1c2-8121-4974-a260-66dab836af8c" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px"><div id="db9635c3-3917-4baf-b7a8-773bf35c50a5" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;"><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwe-pA6TaZk" target="_new"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-ehhxY5q-qXc/UcOJ_86bT1I/AAAAAAAAAgE/_E3Yosod1JE/videoa58a392cc9e6%25255B43%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('db9635c3-3917-4baf-b7a8-773bf35c50a5'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/Pwe-pA6TaZk?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/Pwe-pA6TaZk?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" alt=""></a></div></div></div> <p> </p> <p>Because when two people bombed the Boston marathon, total strangers put themselves in harm’s way to save people’s lives. </p> <p>Because every time there is a natural disaster, thousands of people will donate money, blood, and time to make it better for those who suffered through it. </p> <p>Because every time I hear about a person who has done something terrible, my first thought is not that this is another symbol of the degradation of society. I see it as one person who has done something terrible and wonder what must have gone wrong in this person’s life that led them to the choice to harm. </p> <p>Because amazing people created the Special Olympics, Operation Smile, the Make A Wish Foundation, St. Jude’s, and hundreds of other organizations where the primary purpose is to bring joy to others. </p> <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:f94fba9d-5508-490a-ab32-40b87f3cb3ac" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px"><div id="a9b2c88c-718d-434b-9d55-239df0ca3e31" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;"><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwJNad-w9lY" target="_new"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-QaZOh2A5Iog/UcOKANzZRSI/AAAAAAAAAgM/3t6K_7-92Hw/videoee9323345912%25255B8%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('a9b2c88c-718d-434b-9d55-239df0ca3e31'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/MwJNad-w9lY?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/MwJNad-w9lY?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" alt=""></a></div></div></div> <p>Because of everyday heroes like firefighters, nurses, doctors, teachers – people who sacrifice little pieces of themselves simply to help and make a difference. </p> <p>Because we are not broken, and we do not live in a sinful world. We are incredible, fragile beings who sometimes struggle but inevitably do more harm than good in our short lives.  </p> <p>Because those who oppose equality are now on the fringes of society, and their voices are being silenced by a new generation of people who recognize that everyone deserves to be with the person they love. </p> <p>Because for every Westboro Baptist protest, there are dozens of volunteers to block out their hate.</p> <p>Because when I am at my darkest, it is the love of my friends and family that lift me up and save me again and again. </p> <p>Because of them.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-702amfYHv28/UcOKApWgWvI/AAAAAAAAAgU/KBWsiXcn_Mk/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520060%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring 2013 060" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 060" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-X3ROK4YrWTY/UcOKA_k4WvI/AAAAAAAAAgc/YoXToYZujOo/Spring%2525202013%252520060_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Because I am of this world. Beautiful and terrible. Ethereal and visceral.  And every moment matters, even if it isn’t perfect, because I know that I only have so many moments to cherish and then it’s over. And that makes it precious. That makes us precious. </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-66158089245429466922013-05-24T10:29:00.001-05:002013-05-24T10:29:08.443-05:00This Be a Fashiony Post<p>I realize that I have been feverishly buying new adorable clothes that I sort of squeal over when I put them on, but I haven’t actually posted many pictures.  I have been experimenting with hairstyles and makeup as well, so I’ll throw them out there too.</p> <p>So if you don’t dig my weird poses, avert your eyes. I have never been comfortable in front of a camera, but I am feeling more confident with my smile and my body than I ever have, so I am working on this. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-sME_mggjdKI/UZ-G-_viQ5I/AAAAAAAAAcs/njcjvZ8qNIg/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520030%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Winter 2012 and 2013 030" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 030" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-T8vEg9BAU2Y/UZ-G_5LYDaI/AAAAAAAAAc0/RUZBLa2EYM0/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520030_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="226" height="302" /></a></p> <p>I am ridiculously in love with this cardigan I got from SourpussClothing, and I wore the absolute hell out of this winter. I still relish a crisp spring day where I can throw this bad boy on. It’s soft and warm, and I wear it with everything. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-jeGlmGhRmHI/UZ-HAxrL1SI/AAAAAAAAAc8/lQIF9BBUXyU/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520046%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Winter 2012 and 2013 046" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 046" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-LudC3EarUis/UZ-HB19ib5I/AAAAAAAAAdE/sz3x2iQQsjg/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520046_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="288" height="288" /></a></p> <p>This was my first slightly successful victory roll. Still had red hair, and I had just gotten my vintage glasses, which I love more than anything I have ever owned. Notice the sweater <img class="wlEmoticon wlEmoticon-winkingsmile" style="border-top-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-right-style: none" alt="Winking smile" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-fEabEgYfd0c/UZ-HCHAVAVI/AAAAAAAAAdM/RjVmh3iXsow/wlEmoticon-winkingsmile%25255B2%25255D.png?imgmax=800" /></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-KkB9KQJQEZE/UZ-HCvGjNmI/AAAAAAAAAdU/u7yZy170ARc/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520011%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Winter 2013 011" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 011" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-dj92zRr1VAo/UZ-HDZXJzUI/AAAAAAAAAdc/k-xsyQapBXo/Winter%2525202013%252520011_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="347" /></a></p> <p>All mustard yellowed up for my son’s 9th birthday party. Got this baby from Plasticland on mega sale. My sister, Jen, hates this cardigan with a fiery passion, but I adore it. It’s lightweight, so I still wear it (I’m wearing the damn thing right now). </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-WWV_Nv0dGJI/UZ-HD3fBXgI/AAAAAAAAAdk/MuSXXRrAeEY/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520008%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Winter 2013 008" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 008" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-709PNq9gT0o/UZ-HFN_mHxI/AAAAAAAAAds/BEbNYSfHAIo/Winter%2525202013%252520008_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="256" height="342" /></a></p> <p>Skinny jeans from Delias. The sweater is one I knitted with my own two hands a few years ago. I wore this to a ladies dinner with my friend, Jane and felt pretty goddamn fabulous. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-o3xn1g038dI/UZ-HF0RUp4I/AAAAAAAAAd0/mNgAdVTbJOY/s1600-h/necklace%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img title="necklace" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="necklace" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-TxNmv4sHy3U/UZ-HGft8A3I/AAAAAAAAAd8/Owg6cclUVgA/necklace_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="226" height="300" /></a></p> <p>Wearing my heart on my chest. Got my victory rolls, my favorite red cardigan purchased from Goodwill. Got this super cute, custom-ordered necklace with my darling hubsters’ name on it from DollyCool’s awesome etsy shop. <a title="https://www.etsy.com/shop/DollyCool" href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/DollyCool">https://www.etsy.com/shop/DollyCool</a></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-QZMSWu12A7U/UZ-HHKzJlYI/AAAAAAAAAeE/fQgkkvkAFKg/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520026%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Winter 2013 026" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 026" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-8_VQm-rRTlQ/UZ-HIGT28sI/AAAAAAAAAeM/_vNrpGYwPOY/Winter%2525202013%252520026_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="236" height="313" /></a></p> <p>Gingham adorableness! Got this twee button-up at Target on the cheaps. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-FewNWjI8_3I/UZ-HI28Ou4I/AAAAAAAAAeU/QZDLC5SDhLI/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520012%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Winter 2013 012" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 012" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-tY2KDTOwOW0/UZ-HJCxro9I/AAAAAAAAAec/A7fERcK7wi8/Winter%2525202013%252520012_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="312" height="235" /></a></p> <p>This is not a great picture, but my shirt has little blue anchors on it (Delia’s) and this is the softest, most amazing cardigan ever. Got it at Target, and it’s like being wrapped in baby flesh. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/--ZZ_ABYFFks/UZ-HJlYiunI/AAAAAAAAAeg/p1BNXmhBD-A/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520036%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring 2013 036" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 036" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-3TPEQ0Hxsvo/UZ-HKY877tI/AAAAAAAAAes/3GiuAuCuxXQ/Spring%2525202013%252520036_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="326" /></a></p> <p>This is one of my favorite outfits. Tank I got at Target, that’s my Goodwill cardi with some cute sparrow iron-ons I got on amazon, and my Delia skinny jeans. I wear it with these sweet Chucks that my girl, Jane, gave me.  This is what I wore to the IAMX concert, and the hilarious thing was there was a girl around my age wearing almost the exact same outfit. I wanted so desperately to point at her and shout “Twinsies!” but just gave her that “You’re rad” smile instead.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-1cpZ8Uz_PaE/UZ-HLPyNPzI/AAAAAAAAAe0/VRGZmtJ0zJQ/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520040%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring 2013 040" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 040" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-rEJO5ng6Zn0/UZ-HLquHO5I/AAAAAAAAAe8/E86d7GmYFaA/Spring%2525202013%252520040_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p>I also learned how to curl my hair with a flat iron, so I curl it up quite a bit now. It’s quick and easy peasy lemon squeezy. Especially now that my pixie cut has grown out to sort of a weirdly layered shag of a do. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-Pu0YE3gTGUA/UZ-HMANWXWI/AAAAAAAAAfE/izJ3lIM1JY4/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520008%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring 2013 008" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 008" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-Kcx8mWYPlN4/UZ-HM9XQQhI/AAAAAAAAAfM/J3CHnsZschc/Spring%2525202013%252520008_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="293" height="293" /></a></p> <p>Springtime curls and flowers!</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-u_7mx-lX0Ns/UZ-HNeZWdMI/AAAAAAAAAfU/Xt2uj98I8us/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520020%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring 2013 020" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 020" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-9c2PzXhr5C4/UZ-HOCa36wI/AAAAAAAAAfc/-m-uf31CU70/Spring%2525202013%252520020_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="293" height="293" /></a></p> <p>Me and my best little man. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-hgrsf8DtEtk/UZ-HPfM3wvI/AAAAAAAAAfk/lEYmLhCGtZY/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520059%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="Spring 2013 059" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 059" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-1D8DzSOhYRg/UZ-HQTe9RrI/AAAAAAAAAfs/SMH61wDys1U/Spring%2525202013%252520059_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="302" height="228" /></a></p> <p>Just me and The King.</p> <p>That’s a whole lotta my face acting like it owns the place. Let me tell you, 35 is proving to be the bee’s knees.  I have never felt more in control of my life or more confident with who I am. If I had known that being in my 30s was going to rock so much harder than my 20s, I probably would have taken much better care of myself and not had that “who cares what I look like when I’m old” mentality. </p> <p>Stay tuned for cherry dress eleganza and true rockabilly shenanigans.</p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-77039923495167886922013-05-16T17:27:00.001-05:002013-05-16T17:27:06.528-05:00Tattoos Part 4<p>I decided to add a little something to the dharma wheel on my arm a few months ago, and after A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF RESEARCH – chose the most amazing artist at The Constable Tattoo in Plainfield, Eris Qesari, to do the deed. </p> <p>First off, a little good PR for the shop. This place gave me the best first impression of any tattoo shop I’ve ever set foot in simply because Eris responded to my email inquiry within hours of me sending it. Then when I walked in the next day to speak with him, I immediately noticed how clean it looked and smelled. I was given attention right away and offered a drink. That has never happened before. I waited around 15 minutes while Eris finished up a piece he was working on, and then we talked about my idea. He took my picture, and we booked the appointment. I was well impressed. </p> <p>The whole experience was intense and exciting. The first session was around 4 hours and didn’t hurt a lick, probably because my homegirl, Kate, rode along for the journey and talking always distracts me from the fact that I’m being needled for hours on end. Eris  is the coolest cat to spend time with, and I enjoyed hearing his stories about living in Greece. </p> <p><strong><font size="3">First Session</font></strong></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-fdVlEgMmfGY/UZVc5lHx1pI/AAAAAAAAAbU/xzchCTtPZVA/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520040%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2013 040" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 040" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-fwmWGpop-GA/UZVc89CFpKI/AAAAAAAAAbc/RhjRXjE_BVc/Winter%2525202013%252520040_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="266" height="353" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-sT7xzfkiBMA/UZVdADc-LFI/AAAAAAAAAbk/HlYsGYQn6Ik/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520045%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2013 045" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 045" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-qTspN_TuuR8/UZVdDXBVn8I/AAAAAAAAAbs/TGKe7yFX8aM/Winter%2525202013%252520045_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="271" height="360" /></a></p> <p>Then I had to wait a grueling 3 weeks to complete the sleeve. I was dying of anticipation the entire time. </p> <p><strong><font size="3">Second Session</font></strong></p> <p>After almost 5 more hours of work, and if I’m being honest, it started to hurt like a sumbitch that last hour around the armpit region – to the point where I was getting a little teary and squirmy, I left with this beauty. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-hmLKTrLbPD8/UZVdF4ohLOI/AAAAAAAAAb0/KzkiHFCd9As/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520014%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Spring 2013 014" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 014" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-hD61Xr8kht4/UZVdILaz2cI/AAAAAAAAAb8/5RONUn2HDDI/Spring%2525202013%252520014_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="298" height="298" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-NZyrkOFRupM/UZVdKqeBWcI/AAAAAAAAAcE/EP9MOE9BBfA/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520011%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Spring 2013 011" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 011" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-9qFzw1N_vSs/UZVdNIMLliI/AAAAAAAAAcM/YXuHHnXsDMc/Spring%2525202013%252520011_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="292" height="388" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-XkpiteWHvVQ/UZVdN87eBYI/AAAAAAAAAcU/VF_sbQKEmQ4/s1600-h/Spring%2525202013%252520010%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Spring 2013 010" border="0" alt="Spring 2013 010" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-eLlvvQw-4PE/UZVdOWceQHI/AAAAAAAAAcc/9-GYoRtPvfQ/Spring%2525202013%252520010_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="292" height="389" /></a></p> <p>Eris and I discussed what type of background to go with, and after debating a blue, cloudlike idea, he suggested a warm, watercolor effect to compliment the cool blues and purples. And since I trusted him completely to create an artistic piece that I would love, I just told him to do what he wanted. He was spot on! </p> <p>It’s bright and cheerful and exactly what I was looking for. I’ve had so many people approach me in public and tell me how much they love it. It’s actually helping me be a little bit more outgoing because people want to talk about it, and they ask tons of questions.  For a social weirdo like me, it’s been good practice at coming out of my shell a bit. </p> <p>I cannot recommend Eris enough, and I highly recommend just letting go and handing yourself completely over to the artist. If you’ve done your research and develop a good working relationship with him/her, you will be very pleased with the outcome. I came in with an idea and a picture, and he turned it into something uniquely me. </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-74657510284969155792013-05-07T16:46:00.001-05:002013-05-07T16:46:39.020-05:00IAMX!!!!!<p> </p> <p>On May 2, 2013, I may  have had an out of body experience resulting from my participation in what can only be described as a musical orgy.  I was quite honestly sort of worried I might weep when the enchanting, otherworldly Chris Corner stepped onstage, but I actually surprised myself by not embarrassing my husband with my overemotional shenanigans. </p> <p>Lincoln Hall is a very small, intimate venue, and we arrived early enough to be ridiculously close to the stage, and if we pretend that a group of shrilly, drunken idiot girls didn’t shriek  like crazy ebola monkeys in my ear for the first three songs, the entire experience was mind blowingly, soul shatteringly amazing. </p> <p>I had never seen the band perform live before, so I wasn’t very familiar with anyone else in the band other than my man, Chris.  By the second song, I had become completely entranced by the wickedly badass Janine Gezang and couldn’t take my eyes off of her for the rest of the show. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-oJJjGKZ0zG4/UYl2H1BnVPI/AAAAAAAAAZI/vnodnDrAv4M/s1600-h/IAMX4%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IAMX4" border="0" alt="IAMX4" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-YhLEV--npDI/UYl2JKKg6BI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/p3wNMPbcFIQ/IAMX4_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="244" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>Chris, of course, was devastating as always. When I hear his voice, there are hidden places inside my very being that catch fire, and I can hardly breathe. He writes lyrics that have the power to just completely dismantle me in just a few words.  I could write a thesis on the toe-tingling words of “Mercy” alone.  </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-FXM1rpOLrBM/UYl2K9qc6UI/AAAAAAAAAZY/LevxYfRljrw/s1600-h/IAMX1%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IAMX1" border="0" alt="IAMX1" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-dEQI55aQstQ/UYl2MLDzmcI/AAAAAAAAAZg/h8ryCc6bZE8/IAMX1_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="244" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>Here is the complete set list  with a few videos I found on the tube of you.</p> <p>Animal Impulses</p> <p>Sorrow</p> <p>Kiss and Swallow </p> <p><a title="http://youtu.be/TWleevEiz9s" href="http://youtu.be/TWleevEiz9s">http://youtu.be/TWleevEiz9s</a></p> <p>Kingdom of Welcome Addiction</p> <p>Spit It Out</p> <p>Tear Garden (Video below is not from our show, but they did this kickass drum  duet at our show as well, and it was incredible)</p> <p><a title="http://youtu.be/-wm7jaS8_PY" href="http://youtu.be/-wm7jaS8_PY">http://youtu.be/-wm7jaS8_PY</a></p> <p>My Secret Friend</p> <p>The Unified Field (This is a snippet of the song)</p> <p><a title="http://youtu.be/rroUue8v-Wo" href="http://youtu.be/rroUue8v-Wo">http://youtu.be/rroUue8v-Wo</a></p> <p>Cold Red Light (If you watch nothing else, listen to this fiercely rad orgasm inducing song)</p> <p><a title="http://youtu.be/7yvorfshHWo" href="http://youtu.be/7yvorfshHWo">http://youtu.be/7yvorfshHWo</a></p> <p>Walk with the Noise</p> <p>Music People</p> <p>The Alternative</p> <p>I Come With Knives</p> <p>President</p> <p>Nightlife</p> <p> ORRRR you can watch pretty much the whole damn show here. <a title="http://youtu.be/A-PWLFicERE" href="http://youtu.be/A-PWLFicERE">http://youtu.be/A-PWLFicERE</a></p> <p> </p> <p>The beginning is wonky, and it skips the beginning of “My Secret Friend.” It also cuts off at “President,” but basically this is the whole shebang. </p> <p>I left the show feeling giddy, wrapped in the warm afterglow of watching one’s favorite artist perform. I wish I could bottle the delirium-induced joy and let it slush around in my belly. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-43iv7-D7yzs/UYl2Nu5ejEI/AAAAAAAAAZo/Ki3NBENOsoI/s1600-h/IAMX3%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IAMX3" border="0" alt="IAMX3" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-3rOOz--2Fmc/UYl2PMLMpGI/AAAAAAAAAZw/KK7ZO8Yv_Ps/IAMX3_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="285" height="285" /></a></p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-19803214109756228262013-03-20T17:28:00.001-05:002013-03-20T17:28:53.377-05:00As You Were<p>As some of my peeps know, I’m writing a book about my Army days. I started writing this 15 years ago, just a year after my discharge, but so many different circumstances prevented me from finishing it. This year I decided to pick it back up and finish the damn thing. I’m very close to a very rough first draft, and I’m confident I’ll actually have a completed manuscript by the end of this year. What happens to it after that matters to me far less than the knowledge that such a huge part of my life will have been documented all in one place. </p> <p>I kept a diary for that year, and I have letters that I had written home throughout my enlistment. This initial process has been just typing it all out chronologically and outlining specific things that were important to me at the time. </p> <p>When I began this story, I was 20 years old and had been discharged less than a year prior to sitting down to write it all down. The tone back then was very much one of disgust and bitterness towards an institution that I felt had ruined my life. Back then, I was still raging against a machine that I held responsible for what I thought would be a lifetime of unending physical and emotional pain. I spent a great deal of time writing about boyfriend drama and the inconveniences of being forced to salute officers I didn’t like. I thought this story was to be an expose of what really goes on behind the scenes of the military and to discourage young women from joining. </p> <p>Only now, at 35, am I able to look through the eyes of my 18 year old self and truly see that that wasn’t the real story. As maturity and life circumstances have changed my perception of the world, I’ve come to realize that I was an entitled, self-obsessed child playing at being a soldier. I’ve joked to other former soldiers that they were in the “real Army,” and I was in the “pretend Army,” and that is absolutely true. I fashioned a reality for myself then that didn’t fit with what the Army line was. I shined my boots and ironed my uniform, but the whole time I thought all of it was beneath me. I used to brag that I had never saluted an officer and gladly took the pushups thinking that I was rebelling against conformity. Which would have been a radical statement had I not volunteered for the whole damn thing. </p> <p>I put myself in unsafe situations, treated those I loved quite brutally, and spent a great deal of time feeling sorry for myself because of things that had happened to me. Things that I took zero responsibility for, placing all blame on others so that I could continue to wallow in the precious self-loathing that made me feel special. It’s only now that I can see just how truly emotionally explosive and damaged I was at that time. </p> <p>In Basic Training, I was assigned to watch over a girl who had tried to kill herself in front of us, and I wrote in my diary about how pathetic she was and how nervous she made me. Months later, when I was so overwhelmed and depressed that I tried to do the same thing,  it was too late to be the compassionate person she had needed in those moments.  There is an actual moment, while watching some of the hospital patients in the psych ward on base playing basketball, that I realized they were no different than I was, and that moment paralyzed me with fear that I would be found out. I learned to contain my crazy and step outside of myself long enough to survive. </p> <p>And that ended up being the real story. Not a story about how horrible the military is for women. Not a story about all the injustices that were done to me by the powers that be who wanted to destroy all of my individuality.  Through time and distance, I have discovered that the true story behind all of this is in what happens when an immature, depressed, and fragile child is given a rifle and taught how to kill another human being. Who is told it is her responsibility to keep her country safe from “the enemy” but has such little knowledge of the world outside her small town that being dropped in a foreign country to carry out that action would have been laughable. </p> <p>Finally being honest about the person that I was and how that shaped my perception of the experiences I went through has really helped me reconcile many of the traumas that I associated with that time. This story may end up being one of healing and growth. </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-71530350319835112862013-03-14T16:46:00.001-05:002013-03-14T16:46:12.261-05:00Living the hell out of this life<p>This year has been all about changes for me. Changing not only my look but my universal outlook as well. The last few years have been stressful and sometimes overwhelming, and I am aware that I tend to let that stress fester inside of me until I look on the outside how I feel on the inside. A mess. That first year of homeschooling was a buffet for the inner critic, and she often feasted on my insecurities and fear. And then I decided to quit feeding her. It really was that simple. I may inadvertently throw her a crumb here and there, but that bitch is starving. </p> <p>So, while I am starving the hell out of the voice that spent a lifetime trying to convince me I was ugly, stupid, awkward, chubby, I have begun feeding the voice that tells her to shut the hell up. And what I’ve noticed is that the quieter the inner bitch gets, the more confident I feel. I am probably too damn old to wear some of the clothes that I wear now. I know that people stare at me when I go out in my old lady glasses and victory rolls, but I feel fucking fabulous, so I don’t care. I’m having the time of my life, and my friends don’t seem too embarrassed to be seen in public with me, so I’m going to continue to devour as much fun and freedom as I can until I decide to stop. </p> <p>I used to sit at home on the couch every night watching TV until I was too tired to move, and then I would drag my frumpy ass to bed wishing I had enough energy to go out. Now, even if I’m exhausted from teaching my kiddo, doing the housework, shopping, blah, blah, I will force my old, tired ass into a cute outfit and paint the town with a friend. And I have never once regretted that choice. Because I have the best friends around, who not only support and encourage me, but are always down for a good time. Last month, my buddy Kate and I went to see a very cool band in Chicago called Honeyhoney. Kate is my go-to gal for concert shenanigans. She loves music as much as I do, and she never gets embarrassed if I dance like a jackass. She is the cat’s pajamas. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-dETCjRzXiNg/UUJE5XVQqOI/AAAAAAAAAXY/Cmy1YubJIvo/s1600-h/5e91a5be6fe911e2a47422000a9e28eb_6%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="5e91a5be6fe911e2a47422000a9e28eb_6" border="0" alt="5e91a5be6fe911e2a47422000a9e28eb_6" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-gNf9f5LWXhc/UUJE8MP1BII/AAAAAAAAAXg/IxaxIzhv5Pc/5e91a5be6fe911e2a47422000a9e28eb_6_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="244" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-KdeQCE7Z3qY/UUJE-bNmCNI/AAAAAAAAAXo/69k5tzTcLHE/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520034%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2012 and 2013 034" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 034" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-csxwrDDN3Es/UUJFACl_JGI/AAAAAAAAAXw/HPj9Yg5m2Ec/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520034_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="139" /></a></p> <p>We were crazy close to the stage – it’s a very small venue – and the band is still so unknown that they genuinely seemed surprised every time we applauded. In a later post, I will discuss how the banjo is the perfect instrument, so you can understand how much I geeked out watching this band. </p> <p>A few weeks later, I invited my good friend Jane out to dinner, and we hit up a Cajun joint in Plainfield called MoeJoe’s. Lucky for us, we got what the hostess referred to as “THE booth.” We sipped on hurricanes, and I binged a bit on sweet potato fries. They play excellent music before 10 pm – a little bit of Stevie Ray, Johnny Cash, and even some Pink Floyd. Then, they cleared out the front part of the restaurant, a DJ came in, and the place became Douchebro Central. We quickly got the hell out of there. Once Ke$ha remixes come out, I gotta bail or I get stabby.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-_nobyoy5jzg/UUJFBxd8ReI/AAAAAAAAAX4/8J0jJe-6meM/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520022%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2013 022" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 022" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-RFazFZ2l-gw/UUJFDnN-kaI/AAAAAAAAAYA/ErlfvmmeP_4/Winter%2525202013%252520022_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="244" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-V0tXEJeM1i8/UUJFGOR0PfI/AAAAAAAAAYI/0Qk855gv8Vw/s1600-h/Winter%2525202013%252520021%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2013 021" border="0" alt="Winter 2013 021" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-5buF06wURAM/UUJFH4ZD8sI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/VhEjmxphYJk/Winter%2525202013%252520021_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Now, I am certainly not a believer in “things happen for a reason,” but if I did, Jane would be one of those people that I was meant to be friends with. She was my son’s special ed teacher at a school he never should have gone to. I immediately connected with her, and while Perrin was attending that school, I would often tell John that it was a shame Jane was his teacher, because I would totally want to hang out with her. So, after I pulled Perrin out of school to homeschool him, I emailed her and asked her on a date. From that point on, she’s been a pea in my pod. </p> <p>One day soon, I hope to get my homegirl, Debbie, to come out with us. And then I will force her into a picture.  Ren Faire is right around the corner, Debbie. You shan’t avoid my camera forever. </p> <p>I spent way too long in a cage that I built, truly believing that there was no longer a point to trying to be pretty or expressing myself because I stopped mattering. I allowed my life to revolve around parenting or housekeeping or any number of obligations that gave me an excuse to stop living. </p> <p>I am not dead yet. I choose to live.</p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-76736845659165069772013-02-06T18:06:00.001-06:002013-02-06T18:06:02.659-06:00Tattoos Part 3<p>And now, the remainder of my tattoos. </p> <p>First up is my Perrin tattoo. I got this when my son was still a baby, and I knew that I wanted his name tattooed on me before he was even born. To me, it was just inevitable. He is part of me, and I wanted to honor him and commemorate the immense joy that being a mom had brought into my life. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-7eNVgamC8hQ/URLv2Nje9fI/AAAAAAAAAUg/ttlfqdOENuY/s1600-h/Perrintat%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Perrintat" border="0" alt="Perrintat" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-l-MLNb82BPg/URLv2mQlx8I/AAAAAAAAAUo/6uNMTN468jo/Perrintat_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="183" /></a></p> <p>It’s on my right arm just above the inside of my elbow.  I had originally wanted it in the location where I eventually got my dharma wheel, but I remember the artist telling me that that was considered “prime real estate” and that I should save that areas for a larger piece. I’m so glad I took her advice because my dharma wheel is one of my favorite pieces. I’m anxiously awaiting the day that I fill up the blank canvas that is my left arm. Soon…</p> <p> </p> <p>This next tattoo was the most spontaneous tattoo I have. I went with my friend, Sara, to get a very large fairy tattooed on her rib cage. Yeah, she’s kind of a badass. It was a 7 1/2 hour session, and she was such a beast that she nearly fell asleep. I got kinda bored, and one of the other artists had an opening, so he asked if I wanted something done. So I perused the flash (I only have two flash pieces; the rest are designs I came in with), and I really liked the idea of having a hummingbird. Plus, I had this really shitty red lotus tattoo on the inside of my wrist that I had done by a dude in Austin who didn’t understand what I asked him for and botched it. So what I got was the outline of a lotus done in red with no coloring. It was only my second tattoo, and the shop was on the snooty side, so I didn’t want to make a fuss and sound like an idiot, so I didn’t say anything. I hated the damn thing, so I wanted it covered up. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-k-A_snBXuQQ/URLv3ORAmOI/AAAAAAAAAUw/HvRaolvIBJU/s1600-h/hummingbird%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="hummingbird" border="0" alt="hummingbird" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-jO9bZmhMH-Y/URLv3TIWBbI/AAAAAAAAAU4/yGIEObKBVuE/hummingbird_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="164" /></a></p> <p>It is not a great cover up, and I need to get it touched up. I eventually want to get the hummingbird done in a darker green, and the background needs some work so that you can’t see the petals from the original tattoo, but I get a lot of compliments on it, and most people don’t realize it’s a cover-up until I point it out. </p> <p> </p> <p>My other flash/spur of the moment tattoo was done on a very fun road trip to Lubbock to see my high school bestie, Kelly. Our friend, Amanda, and I drove up there one weekend to party less than a year before we moved to Illinois, and she and I wanted to get tattoos done in celebration of being awesome.  And I got the first (and so far, only)tattoo that hurt. And when I say it hurt, I mean I wanted to cry and had to ask the girl doing it to stop twice because my foot was twitching so bad I could barely stand it. But it’s crazy adorable, and it will be a reminder of a wonderful weekend with friends where I dressed and acted like a pirate at a douchebro college bar, heard some great live music, and got to take a break from my hectic life as a mother to a toddler. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-RgAit9ZdFf4/URLv3xS_pUI/AAAAAAAAAVA/QRLx9ZyjVNs/s1600-h/suntat%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="suntat" border="0" alt="suntat" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-W6p9T0iy7mQ/URLv4SG3oXI/AAAAAAAAAVI/ZcXz9Kg_1jc/suntat_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="204" height="137" /></a></p> <p>(Just look at the supreme cuteness of these shoes. Sigh. I miss them.)</p> <p> </p> <p>Next up is a ridiculously awful tattoo that I regretted the second it was done. I don’t regret that it’s a knitting related tattoo; I regret that it’s a really bad tattoo and is taking up space that will eventually be filled with yet another cover-up. It was, however, an awesome experience. Right before I left Austin, my very tight-knit (see what I did there?) knitting circle all went to get tattooed together at a shop that was doing $35 tattoos. Even typing this, six years later, I can hear the red flags going up. Two of my friends got these lovely tattoos that our artist friend had drawn for them, and I got this. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-M--WJ9VkgHE/URLv5LrffiI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/iFJjbaEfxHk/s1600-h/Knittingtat%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Knittingtat" border="0" alt="Knittingtat" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-GcXE5cFa8jc/URLv5mo0E5I/AAAAAAAAAVY/rMuZKMwEAYc/Knittingtat_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Look at those shaky lines on the needles. Look at the yarn ball that doesn’t even really resemble an actual ball of yarn. Look at how it’s not remotely symmetrical. It’s just bad.  I don’t know what happened. We all had the same guy tattoo us, but perhaps by the time he got to me, he was tired of hearing our mommy stories and checked out. </p> <p>And last up is the tattoo I got with my friend, Debbie. She got her first tattoo touched up, and I got this. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-o7AD_y96iVc/URLv6CJEOhI/AAAAAAAAAVg/IfrhC8nSerc/s1600-h/patience%252520tat%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="patience tat" border="0" alt="patience tat" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-ZMfv5xIWnN0/URLv6f4Yf-I/AAAAAAAAAVo/1rEWqeXgq28/patience%252520tat_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>This picture was taken right after it was done, so it looks all slimy and wonky. It means “dhairya,” which is the Sanskrit word for “patience” and, according to a friend of mine who speaks Hindi, it also  means “fortitude.” The message that I wanted it to convey was having mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, and this is my reminder to stay strong and persevere through any obstacles that come my way. I got it during a time of great struggle in my life, primarily in dealing with the public school. I wanted it in a place where I could just glance down, breathe deep, and heed the word. It has often been a comfort to me when the earth threatens to swallow me whole. </p> <p> </p> <p>And that is all. My tattoos tell my story, or at least bits and pieces of it. What I love the most about them is that I shared the experiences with some of my best friends, my beautiful sisters, and my beloved husband. When you get a tattoo with me, you become part of my story. Part of my memories that I will carry with me always. And that story continues. </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-84584360804958063672013-01-30T10:08:00.001-06:002013-01-30T10:08:05.938-06:00What does John think?<p> </p> <p>I get asked this question a lot every time I change my look. I understand why people are curious, because I recognize that we live in a culture where it is often seen as a woman’s responsibility to be attractive either to obtain or keep a man. And I could spend countless hours talking about the Pat Robertson’s of the world who actually blame women “letting themselves go” for the failure of a marriage and how that bullshit makes me stabby. But I’m getting off subject a little bit. </p> <p>What does John think? Well, John is a feminist. He doesn’t like to use that word because of the negative connotation that people have attached to it, but he believes a woman’s body is her own to do with as she pleases. This includes what she wears or how she cuts her hair. I would not have married a man who tried to tell me how to dress or told me not to get more tattoos because he didn’t like them. John respects me as a person first and not a collection of aesthetics.</p> <p>When I met John, I dressed horribly and hid any semblance of a figure I may have had. I didn’t know how to apply makeup at all and looked like a ghost. I was still clinging to an extra 15 pounds that made me insecure, so I never felt pretty. The dude still thought I was pretty, but above all, it was the person behind all that he was attracted to. I was smart and funny and sarcastic, and at the end of the day, I believe that’s what makes a person attractive to their partner. </p> <p>Thing is, there have been many things I have done that he didn’t like. He has walked in to find me nearly bald twice because of botched bleaching attempts and has shared with me his desire that I not do that again. He hates very heavy bangs, and since they’re pretty damn high maintenance anyway, this is a request I can honor. Aside from those two things, it’s always open season on my head.  After 13 years of not knowing what he’s going to walk in on, he has come to accept that there’s always a chance I could flip a switch and decide that I suddenly need to look like the band members of KISS. And he will smile, tell me he loves me, and I will know that he hates it. He is not a fan of my new glasses, but they make me giddy, so he is cool with it. That’s just the way it is. If he decided he needed a mohawk or a god-awful tribal armband tattoo, I would deal with it if it made him feel like a sexy beast. I would LOVE if John wore glasses or had oodles of tattoos, but he doesn’t do it because that’s not his style, and I respect that. Mutual respect, folks. That’s how this works. </p> <p>Truth is, I’m not entirely sure what John would prefer I look like. There are outfits that receive his compliments, and I try to wear those more often when I’m in need of a little attention. I think he prefers my hair red and longer, but what he loves most of all is having a wife who feels confident and beautiful in her own skin. He knows that if I dressed in a manner that would be pleasing to everyone else but me, I would be incredibly uncomfortable and insecure.  And as we all know, if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.</p> <p>Bottom line is that John loves me and accepts me for the crazy, unpredictable person that I am and not for how pleasing I am to look at.  I think he would get just as bored as I would be if I looked the same every day for years. Because he’s the bee’s knees, and this is why I keep him. Now, if we could only get a few more tattoos on that boy. Hubba Hubba.</p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-9434547093721952752013-01-27T09:12:00.001-06:002013-01-27T09:12:01.681-06:00Tattoos Part 2<p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-SUil0AommCM/UQVDuXLkSkI/AAAAAAAAAT0/HaA56CQ_Dps/s1600-h/newsies%252520005%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="newsies 005" border="0" alt="newsies 005" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-TuhK_-1Iaas/UQVDu6En97I/AAAAAAAAAT8/hNQbofaVD5c/newsies%252520005_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="280" height="200" /></a></p> <p>This is probably my favorite tattoo and the one I get complimented on the most often. It is a Buddhist dharma wheel and was done in two sittings, mostly because I was being wishy washy about it. I had the wheel itself done a few years before the petals and coloring were added on. I got tired of people asking me if I was into either pirates or sailors, so it needed prettying up. </p> <p>When I got out of the Army in 1997, I was an overemotional mess and questioning so many things about the world and my place in it. So, I was a  typical 19 year old girl. I had also come to the realization that I no longer felt secure in the faith that I had chosen in high school when that faith no longer brought me comfort during the most painful and trying times of the previous year in the military. </p> <p>I moved from Texas to Wisconsin on a whim and took a sabbatical of sorts to clear the muddles and choose a new path. I lived in a farmhouse in the middle of a cornfield and began reading about Buddhism. For the first time in my life, the universe made sense. I had been ready to let go of a deity but not yet at a place in my journey to let go of a belief system, so Buddhism fit in the space where I still needed faith and ritual. </p> <p>The dharma wheel is a beautiful symbol of Buddha’s teachings and it has been a daily reminder of how following the Eightfold Path guided me to sanity and peace in a way that nothing else did. </p> <p> </p> <p>After I had Perrin, I wanted a way to commemorate how parenthood gave me this wonderful new label to add to all my other kooky labels. And it was oh so fashionable at the time to get Kanji symbols, so of course, I HAD to have one too. So I got the Kanji symbol for “Mom” tattooed on the back of my neck. I researched this one quite a bit and even asked a friend of Jennifer’s, who is Chinese, and he verified that it is, indeed, the symbol for “Mom.” However, just this  past summer a random old Chinese dude came up to me and told me it means “lady horse,” so I may very well be sporting a crazy, stupid American tattoo, which is extremely hilarious. I have had this tattoo for 8 years, and he’s the only person who told me it didn’t mean “Mom,” so I’m going to assume he was just trying to freak me out. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-4uRsLEGs7xc/UQVDvjbA_-I/AAAAAAAAAUE/aoF9-9ewmVw/s1600-h/momtat%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="momtat" border="0" alt="momtat" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-_jw_NJa5pYg/UQVDwB2ghRI/AAAAAAAAAUM/TG4jMA6cu8E/momtat_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="164" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>Underneath my possible “lady horse” tattoo I have “This too shall pass” in my  mother’s handwriting. It’s one of my most meaningful tattoos, and I regret getting it put on the back of my neck because this means I never get to see it. It was a surprise tribute to my mom, who helped me through a lot with these words. I have the best mom in the world and feel honored to carry her wisdom with me for the rest of my life. </p> <p>Well, that’s all for today. There are frivolous, cutesy tattoos coming up. </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-68655410947331302602013-01-25T15:47:00.001-06:002013-01-25T15:47:46.776-06:00Tattoos–Part 1<p>I am addicted to tattoos. I have been tattooed 14 times but only have 12 visible tattoos, as two of them are coverups. </p> <p>I got my first tattoo on my 18th birthday. I had wanted one since I was in middle school, and I promised myself I’d get one as soon as I was legally able to. A few of my good friends and I drove to Abilene and stopped at a kind of shady shop where the dude who tattooed me looked like Biker Santa. I told him what I wanted, and he drew it up in five seconds, slapped it on, and away we went.  It cost me $30, and it faded in just a few weeks because I didn’t take proper care of it. I did all of the things the dude told me not to, including taking a damn bath and picking at it when it started to peel. It actually had color at one time.  The funny thing is, I wasn’t exactly “allowed” to get tattooed while still living with my parents. Mom didn’t care at all, but my dad was very against them, and told me frequently that women with tattoos were seen as trashy. So I hid this with tall socks for about a month before they saw it. Mom thought it was adorable, and Dad just sort of shrugged since it was a little late to do anything about it.   Here’s what it looked like this summer before I got it covered. I kept this damn thing for 16 years, and I’m happy it’s gone. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-AgPdanqzyJE/UQL9dWGZs2I/AAAAAAAAASY/r4goagpBY-Q/s1600-h/Spring%252520and%252520Summer%2525202012%252520064%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Spring and Summer 2012 064" border="0" alt="Spring and Summer 2012 064" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-y03TpjggugY/UQL9dhUoXBI/AAAAAAAAASg/nCPKI5x5fTY/Spring%252520and%252520Summer%2525202012%252520064_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p>This summer, my good friend Jane and I went together to get tattoos. She got her kiddo’s names, and I got this covered up with a gorgeous traditional style peony. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-nPMiBeZoHKI/UQL9dyBAQWI/AAAAAAAAASo/YP3FCO3d17k/s1600-h/Spring%252520and%252520Summer%2525202012%252520075%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Spring and Summer 2012 075" border="0" alt="Spring and Summer 2012 075" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-qAcSXRZAB5o/UQL9ebxqPmI/AAAAAAAAASw/pjl90Np22ZM/Spring%252520and%252520Summer%2525202012%252520075_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p>I much prefer this. I am wildly in love with floral tattoos, and all of my favorite tattoos are floral themed. </p> <p>When I was 21, I fell madly in love with this boy and moved to San Marcos in an impulsive expression of romance to be with him.  When we were dating, we would hang out at Sewell Park, and the river was swarmed by dragonflies the entire summer. Every time I saw one, I thought of this boy, so I got a tattoo on my back to remind me of him and how crazy I was about him.  To this day, John says this is his favorite of my tattoos. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-oVlc3wLjSMk/UQL9erg__cI/AAAAAAAAAS4/6wdGRyt_YuA/s1600-h/fall%252520019%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="fall 019" border="0" alt="fall 019" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-FvvOhQQhwZo/UQL9e2eJbBI/AAAAAAAAATA/AW8Ckkk28Ps/fall%252520019_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>I married that boy, and on our 10th wedding anniversary, we got matching tattoos of a cute little symbol I used to draw with finger paints with our son when he was a toddler. It’s a representation of our quirky little family, and it’s the first (and likely only) tattoo I’ve been able to talk John into getting.  John, Perrin, and I have been through more than a lot of families have gone through in our lives together, and I am quite confident this is the forever kind of bond, so I don’t worry about any kind of curse of the couple’s tattoos. John is the only one for me, and I am the only one for him. And Perrin is that piece of the puzzle that completes our picture. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-EJJw-XidKKc/UQL9fQqF83I/AAAAAAAAATI/cH_tfzag_hQ/s1600-h/quirky%252520010%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="quirky 010" border="0" alt="quirky 010" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-UBjr8NcbFnw/UQL9fg37QnI/AAAAAAAAATQ/b_ctXjGajSg/quirky%252520010_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>And the last one I’ll write about today are my “bro tats” or more appropriately, “ho tats.” My sisters and I are ridiculously close, so while I was still living in Austin, Jen and I got these cute matching Celtic hearts. Stephanie is 11 years younger than me, so she had to wait a couple of years before she could get hers. Jen and I both had a weird reaction to the green ink, so ours were faded a little by the time Steph got hers, which is why hers is so much brighter. We took this pic right after Steph’s was completed. It was also done by a different artist who didn’t feel comfortable copying someone else’s work, so hers has different (and better) shading than ours. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-OzZTPIlbsRA/UQL9gO0UJnI/AAAAAAAAATY/4IJdzfh5_QU/s1600-h/May%252526June%252520042%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="May&June 042" border="0" alt="May&June 042" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-gi_scUsGUAA/UQL9geOlJAI/AAAAAAAAATg/Ws3_kzSIlAU/May%252526June%252520042_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="164" /></a></p> <p>Much more to come!!! </p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-30411537969615172402013-01-24T10:09:00.001-06:002013-01-24T10:11:20.947-06:00Hair Adventures or How I Spent My Summer<p> </p> <p>Going from black to blonde – all the trauma I put my hair through this summer.</p> <p>I have a long history of risk-taking when it comes to my hair style and color. It has been hot pink, purple, black, and orange. I have bleached it 3 times and shaved it off twice – both following disastrous bleaching experiments. Then I discovered the beauty of the internet and realized that if I was going to try a drastic change, I was going to do my research. I also didn’t want to spend hundreds of dollars at a salon that may or may not have wrecked my hair any worse than I could do myself. </p> <p>My natural hair color is very close to my husband’s dark brown. The picture below is with fairly recently dyed blue/black hair I acquired with a box dye – it was most likely Garnier because it’s my favorite. I dig having black hair because I have wicked blue eyes, and they really pop the darker my hair is. However, I also get bored rather quickly and needed a change. So why the hell not go from black to blonde? I’m not overly attached to my hair, and I keep it pixie short, so if I mess it up, it’s no huge loss. However, I also have a wedding to go to in 2 months, so I figured it might be quite a catastrofuck if I shaved it off beforehand. To the internet!!</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-MEjcfH7cR60/UQFcpTLY_LI/AAAAAAAAAQc/1MDYysHIm1Y/s1600-h/clip_image002%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="clip_image002" border="0" alt="clip_image002" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-QkQCcOusA9g/UQFcp_y6GkI/AAAAAAAAAQk/h_FJThbd-5U/clip_image002_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p>I did some quick searches on how to safely and cheaply strip hair dye, and then spent a couple of weeks washing with Head and Shoulders followed by a few treatments of baking soda mixed with shampoo to lighten up the black. Ended up being a reddish toned very dark brown. A bit dry, but conditioned the hell out of it for weeks. Then it was time for the hard core stuff. </p> <p>Step one: August 28 - I used Color Oops and followed every step to the letter, including rinsing under warm water for the full 25 minutes and washing after every 5. Be sure if you do this not to let your kiddo in the shower before you, lest you run the risk of running out of hot water, which is what happened to my ass. The outcome was a medium, caramel color. A little brassy, but absolutely free of black dye. Used John Frieda’s shampoo and deep conditioner for blonde hair daily. Conditioned a couple of times for up to 15 minutes. Hair was soft, shiny, and healthy. Waited a week before bleaching. Cost $9</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-qyTl3_myJgg/UQFcqftU76I/AAAAAAAAAQs/Xn8K_4Rh_Ug/s1600-h/clip_image004%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="clip_image004" border="0" alt="clip_image004" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-MB26P1xkS24/UQFcrdHG39I/AAAAAAAAAQ0/w_B4Aiaq59U/clip_image004_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Step two – Sept 4. Used L’oreal’s Super Blonde kit to get to yellow roots and orange-yellow, brassy tone to the rest of hair. A little dry at the ends, but not damaged. Followed up with 20 minutes of conditioning with John Frieda’s blonde. As you can see, this is less than the ideal outcome, which I found out is exactly what is supposed to happen.  One does not simply bleach hair into a blonde. One has to tone the hell out of that noggin. Went to Sally Beauty Supply and stocked up on supplies to fix this mess. Cost $10</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-J4wrWi0clp4/UQFcr2WK5iI/AAAAAAAAAQ8/iBusNRlfPKw/s1600-h/clip_image006%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="clip_image006" border="0" alt="clip_image006" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-gt-NtTp5s2o/UQFcsit6GVI/AAAAAAAAARE/LVO3UDofUXg/clip_image006_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="172" height="228" /></a></p> <p>Step three – same day – mixed whole bottle of Wella color charm T18 Lightest Ash Blonde with 2 parts Salon Care Volume Crème Volume 20. Combed evenly through damp hair and left on for 30 minutes . After rinsing it out, put on a protein conditioner Ion Repair Solutions, put on shower cap, and conditioned for 20 minutes. Blow-dried using cold setting. Not much improvement after first application. Put more toner blend on the more orangey parts for 30 more minutes. Then another 20 minutes with the protein conditioner. Still kinda orangey, so I tossed on some Quick Blue bleach mixed with the Vol 20 developer. Let sit for about 45 minutes. Total cost of all supplies at Sally - $26.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-PxvV2Z8bKQs/UQFctan4YLI/AAAAAAAAARM/yaYdlzui8pE/s1600-h/clip_image007%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="clip_image007" border="0" alt="clip_image007" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ixUV1hjlLdg/UQFcuOfJmpI/AAAAAAAAARU/lr1VZQebwJI/clip_image007_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="225" height="170" /></a></p> <p>Still a bit more orange than I would like. Read dozens of tutorials on getting platinum hair, and I found this fabulous one here. <a href="http://kristadior.kristardesign.com/tag/how-to-get-orange-out-of-bleached-hair/">http://kristadior.kristardesign.com/tag/how-to-get-orange-out-of-bleached-hair/</a></p> <p>She has the exact white shade I’ve been dying to have, so I ordered some Manic Panic Virgin Snow toner (Amazon $12). While waiting for it to arrive, I washed with John Frieda’s tone correcting purple shampoo ($6) and continued to use the Ion Repair conditioner daily. </p> <p>September 17, 2012 – Got the manic panic and per loads of tutorials put it on freshly washed hair, put on a shower cap, and hung out for about an hour and a half. It left my hair remarkably soft and shiny, but it did not remove enough yellow for my liking. It looks like another trip to Sally for a 3<sup>rd</sup> freaking bleaching. The sales lady at Sally is becoming my guru. Should probably put her on speed dial.</p> <p>September 18, 2012 – Covered entire head with Quick Blue packet and 2.5 oz of Vol 20 developer. Did the roots too, since they are starting to peek through a bit. Covered with shower cap and left on for 50 minutes. Rinsed and shampooed. Applied Manic Panic again, covered with shower cap and put under blow dryer for about 5 minutes, then taught a few reading lessons to the boy child, and rinsed in cold water per the tub’s instructions. Total time was probably an hour. STILL YELLOW!!!! Plus, I had missed a patch of roots behind my right ear, so I spot bleached the top portion in front and the root patch and left on for another 35 minutes. Put on more Manic Panic (this stuff is so gentle and conditioning!) and left on for about 25 more minutes. Rinsed out in cold water again and put on my Ion Repair conditioner. </p> <p>At last, I have achieved a pale blonde that is sort of lemon yellow. I can live with it. I’ve bleached it 4 times overall in the last 3 weeks, conditioned the hell out of it, and there’s been no damage. I got a trim after the 2<sup>nd</sup> bleaching, and the stylist said it was still in great condition. I may purchase the Roux toner or a stronger toning shampoo designed for peeps with gray hair. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-bUSBYd56nxA/UQFcuQS5UOI/AAAAAAAAARc/zdxY_ng_yf8/s1600-h/clip_image008%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="clip_image008" border="0" alt="clip_image008" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-6nyeJepjQ10/UQFcvE4YclI/AAAAAAAAARk/d61JkUEhDyE/clip_image008_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="225" height="170" /></a></p> <p>I kept it this shade for about 3 weeks before realizing I am NOT a blonde. It seriously washed me out, and made my skin look really weird. So, after several hours of walking around with some kind of product on my head, probably eating away at my brain in the process, I just hopped back on the Garnier wagon and covered that whole mess up with my usual shade of bright ass red. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-BNjcCveblr8/UQFcv4jy3mI/AAAAAAAAARs/-isvOQWscPU/s1600-h/Fall%2525202012%252520118%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Fall 2012 118" border="0" alt="Fall 2012 118" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-gyeGl2KB0R8/UQFcwXeJwGI/AAAAAAAAAR0/ZAbkCuZe2c4/Fall%2525202012%252520118_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p>However, now that I have stripped my hair so ridiculously, the red bleeds during every wash, and I look like Janet Leigh every time I take a shower. I have been dyeing my hair every 4 weeks now and using a protein filler I got at Sally for 20 minutes beforehand, which is only now, 4 months later, keeping the color in longer. I am now using Manic Panic Pillarbox Red ever 3 weeks to maintain the bright, crazy girl tone.  I am also growing it out so I can do true rockabilly victory rolls, so it’s a shaggy mess at the moment. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-3HEReybBfGA/UQFcxdgyDoI/AAAAAAAAAR8/Rmgp7zRm5rw/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520027%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2012 and 2013 027" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 027" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-BguPN-d_lxc/UQFcx576OTI/AAAAAAAAASE/HwR21ln9LBU/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520027_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>So, the moral of my hair experience is that you should never be afraid to try something dramatically different. It is entirely possible to go from black to blonde to red with very little damage to your hair if you do it slowly and gently. Will I ever do it again? Very likely not. Blonde may look great on my little sister, but it does not suit everyone. And I never did get that ice blonde, Gwen Stefani shade, but that’s okay. This girl is a redhead. Pure and simple.</p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-21529181317547183792013-01-15T09:12:00.001-06:002013-01-15T09:12:42.094-06:00Crafting for couples<p>John and I shared the same New Year’s resolution to work harder on making our house feel more like our home. To this point, we haven’t done a lot of renovations besides painting to give it that feeling. It still feels like someone else’s house sometimes, especially with the rather grotesque yellow walls in the family room. </p> <p>In the spring we are repainting that room a light gray, painting all the dark brown doors black, and installing skylights to give it more natural light. In the meantime, we have been doing smaller things to make our furniture flow with our style and color schemes. </p> <p>We inherited this green dresser from John’s family that we used as Perrin’s changing station when he was a baby. Since then it’s been in my office as a storage unit for knitting supplies. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-PVrHYGQWsQI/UPVxu8quLMI/AAAAAAAAAM0/VARe4MQob9k/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%2525202%25252027%25252052%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 12, 2 27 52 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 12, 2 27 52 PM" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-1gsV7tzTpcA/UPVxwOo-FKI/AAAAAAAAAM8/c5zgnAFZHs0/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%2525202%25252027%25252052%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p>I decided to move it to our bedroom and realized that it didn’t really match our plum colored walls and dark gray comforter, so John and I in our ongoing obsession with pinterest, found a great picture of a shiny black dresser with decoupaged book pages on it. We were sold!</p> <p>Step One: We scrubbed the hell out it, of course, and then primed it like a good boy and girl should. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-RVCpzlUGDtQ/UPVxwwlB2ZI/AAAAAAAAANE/g13ygC5x9VI/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%2525204%25252045%25252046%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 12, 4 45 46 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 12, 4 45 46 PM" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Zo6L3DPCgko/UPVxxgGxS7I/AAAAAAAAANM/XfQpkA_SUz0/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%2525204%25252045%25252046%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Step Two: Broke off into two teams to console the boy child who had become bored and emotional waiting to play a video game with us. </p> <p>Step Three: Using a foam roller, slapped on the first coat of this.<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-HF8OzuDnPgY/UPVxyXhDZZI/AAAAAAAAANU/k1o1b1X92eQ/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%2525203%25252026%25252045%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 12, 3 26 45 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 12, 3 26 45 PM" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-qFcpGwMXqQE/UPVxyuCN6gI/AAAAAAAAANc/O4yQbO97ngE/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%2525203%25252026%25252045%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>We wanted it to be smooth and shiny; however, for some reason the foam roller created a quadrillion tiny bubbles all over the surface of the dresser. I googled that mess and discovered that you really need to use a brush to get a smooth surface, leading us to step four.</p> <p>Step Four: Argue a little bit about whether to proceed with the roller or send one of us in the freezing cold to Home Depot to get a brush. </p> <p>Step Five: Proceed with roller primarily due to tiredness and frustration. Not too shabby. It ended up being really pretty even though it doesn’t have that slick Pottery Barn feel to it. </p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-qrX5wFdIs3Y/UPVxzN3GblI/AAAAAAAAANg/66spdWf3vlo/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252013%25252C%25252012%25252054%25252000%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 13, 12 54 00 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 13, 12 54 00 PM" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-eWiKW1E795w/UPVxzgl4dOI/AAAAAAAAANo/C5p3GpFb7cE/Photo%252520Jan%25252013%25252C%25252012%25252054%25252000%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Step Six: THE FUN PART!! I have had this old book since childhood that had half Grimm’s Fairy Tales and half Anderson’s. It’s crazy old and kind of falling apart, and both John and I went bananas over the illustrations and slightly discolored pages which would give the drawers an antiquey feel to them. So I ripped out all the illustrations and my favorite lines from various stories. I’m a Grimm girl myself, so I made sure to grab all the Red Riding Hood and Snow White delights to be the forefront of the pieces. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-f_xaT9SsyZ4/UPVx0zWlFdI/AAAAAAAAAN0/cPTQ8i9qAMk/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%25252011%25252056%25252057%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 12, 11 56 57 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 12, 11 56 57 PM" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-286NfArt9gw/UPVx1cMZEmI/AAAAAAAAAN8/V0-DuNcaYas/Photo%252520Jan%25252012%25252C%25252011%25252056%25252057%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>I am a book lover, so I know that this might seem like a massacre, but I believe that if a books its on a shelf for 20 years and will fall apart if you try to read it, transforming it into art is  a beautiful  resurrection for it. </p> <p>Step Seven: Once I had all the pieces I wanted to be front and center, I went around the edges with the straight edged pages and, using Mod Podge and a foam brush, started gluing and tucking. This was the most challenging part of the process and took quite awhile to get it lined up perfectly on all the corners. My OCD loved it! This part took about 40 minutes per drawer.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-CiA6NW5rX_o/UPVx18ngAjI/AAAAAAAAAOE/zgVJhl_i0NI/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252013%25252C%2525201%25252020%25252046%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 13, 1 20 46 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 13, 1 20 46 PM" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-1zcO1hUYn6A/UPVx2fH76CI/AAAAAAAAAOM/NIL7AYJTXeY/Photo%252520Jan%25252013%25252C%2525201%25252020%25252046%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p>Once the corners were all slapped on and tightened up to perfection, I slathered on another thin layer of Mod Podge to the corners and the areas where the pages overlapped. </p> <p>Step Eight: I took all those fabulous illustrations and quotes and tore around the ages and played with their placement until I was happy. I wanted each drawer to have at least three pictures along with a section of the story it belonged with. Using a thick sponge, I smoothed another layer of Mod Podge over the entire surface of the dresser and proceeded to the next one. Once they were all dry, I rubbed another layer over the top to give it added strength and prevent the torn edges from rolling up at all. </p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-ELtnxU1DAhw/UPVx3W0DfdI/AAAAAAAAAOU/Q7279kA2nbQ/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252013%25252C%2525202%25252004%25252033%252520PM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 13, 2 04 33 PM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 13, 2 04 33 PM" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-CzVBZb8UFSA/UPVx3gTYZrI/AAAAAAAAAOY/sclcmYg43cI/Photo%252520Jan%25252013%25252C%2525202%25252004%25252033%252520PM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p>Step Nine: We let it all dry overnight, put the knobs back on and HUZZAH! A dresser is reborn! </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-cS2zn3dx8wc/UPVx4BE3YcI/AAAAAAAAAOk/pOHQVqsPlrU/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252014%25252C%2525208%25252040%25252032%252520AM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 14, 8 40 32 AM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 14, 8 40 32 AM" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-GlVGLsh6IVg/UPVx4rYiQgI/AAAAAAAAAOo/WhBCd6vHd7U/Photo%252520Jan%25252014%25252C%2525208%25252040%25252032%252520AM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-AILM67bXHHY/UPVx5sXehtI/AAAAAAAAAO0/Kivz3ptdqZc/s1600-h/Photo%252520Jan%25252014%25252C%2525208%25252041%25252020%252520AM%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Photo Jan 14, 8 41 20 AM" border="0" alt="Photo Jan 14, 8 41 20 AM" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-YUKn7VU_bD8/UPVx51h-7bI/AAAAAAAAAO4/6XHAQZpYUls/Photo%252520Jan%25252014%25252C%2525208%25252041%25252020%252520AM_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="183" /></a></p> <p>It is now beside my bed and is the new home of my cherished hand knit sweaters. Every day I will get to read about what big eyes the wolf has, how Snow White is the fairest of them all, and Hansel and Gretel tricked the witch. A little bit of me, a little bit of John, and a whole lot of character. We love it!</p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-54596833002654558502013-01-13T10:23:00.001-06:002013-01-13T10:23:14.839-06:00A phoenix rises<p>This blog has been dead for two years. The two years where I let life pull me in primarily one direction and one direction only. Parenting. I haven't really been knitting, but that's mostly because I grew slightly weary of dropping $50 on beautiful yarn, following a pattern, and then not getting the size adjustments right so that the damn thing looked wretched on my awkwardly shaped body. So I took a break and just haven't really picked it back up. That's okay. I have other things.</p> <p>One year ago, I pulled my son out of school to homeschool him. So that's pretty much been my entire life for the last year. I kept my own self on a backburner to focus on him, and while that filled me with purpose, it has diminished my creative, artistic side to the point where I started ignoring the screaming for creation simply because there was no energy to be spent on it. I will not talk about any of that here. There's another place for all of that. This space is mine. Where I will let that other side of me shine a little brighter. Where I can play.</p> <p>One huge thing that I have done for myself for the last couple of months is return to writing. I am about halfway through with a rough first draft of a memoir of my year in the Army. I'm using actual diary entries and letters that I had written to my mom, and it's been quite a journey going back there. It was a very difficult time for me, both physically and emotionally, and dredging it up has been painful at times, but I have wanted to put this out there into the world for 15 years, and now I'm finally doing it. I have no idea if anything will ever come of it, if it will get published or sit on my shelf and collect dust, but getting it all down has been incredibly rewarding. If nothing else, I will have something I can read when I'm 80 and have begun forgetting what my youth was like. </p> <p>I set one primary New Year's resolution for myself, and so far, I am doing quite well. I love dressing up and going out, but I haven't done much of that for a really long time. I let being tired and overwhelmed keep my ass on a couch. I may be 35, but I still have many years left to enjoy myself. Until I actually hear the words, "This music is too loud," come out of my mouth, I will still drag my old ass to rock concerts and dance like a jackass. And until my flesh is tissue paper, I will still get tattooed. </p> <p>Now, on to fashion. I have always loved clothes. My style has evolved a lot over the years, and I never fully immerse myself into one particular style because my face and body aren't exactly suited to the trends. I tried the emo/goth look in my twenties, and when we moved to the suburbs I think I was shocked into a more mainstream/homemaker look which I didn't dig. It made me feel dowdy and invisible. The fun thing about that was that people seemed a bit surprised when I pushed up a sleeve and showed off my tattoos. My latest obsession is with the rockabilly style. I've always been a little bit rockabilly, and I grew up on the music of Elvis, Roy Orbison, and Johnny Cash. I have always rocked red lipstick when I felt like it, and I live in cardigans. I bought this adorable polka dot dress for my brother in law's wedding, and it finally dawned on me that I was, indeed, a rockabilly gal. </p> <p>So, in combining my two new resolutions to be leave my house more and look fabulous doing it, I present to you a shiny new ensemble.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-o5_xI1sHKEg/UPLfZYbCc1I/AAAAAAAAAL8/aYuY1Ocd1OU/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520021%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2012 and 2013 021" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 021" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-N2zQ4Y2a9VU/UPLfZlqXJuI/AAAAAAAAAME/kjTxvOTSUBk/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520021_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="244" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>This is what I wore to this rad bar called Cigars and Stripes with two of my best gallie pallies, Kate and Jane. We plopped our beautiful selves down at the bar and rocked out to two local bands, The Bomb Sawyers and The Demerits. Jane and I realized we needed to start our own band, so just as soon as she learns to play the drums, we’re in business. </p> <p>Look at these badass chicks being badass</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-a5EVVkfY6vs/UPLfapxc8YI/AAAAAAAAAMM/V9Lyn2F6vaA/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520028%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2012 and 2013 028" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 028" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Gaw-aQ8JcSA/UPLfa4IHcgI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/Wvt-hajc5b4/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520028_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="183" /></a></p> <p>I’ve been experimenting more with makeup as well and am psychotically in love with the flicked cat-eye eyeliner. I love that I look like a rocker housewife in this and totally comfortable. Who says you gotta wear sweatpants to be comfy? On a side note, a bandana totally hides a shitty hair day. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ByjlRqvjD80/UPLfbV9TTjI/AAAAAAAAAMc/PWKAAVLMwfA/s1600-h/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520011%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Winter 2012 and 2013 011" border="0" alt="Winter 2012 and 2013 011" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-lwT4Opul1r8/UPLfb9cpgXI/AAAAAAAAAMk/uqXGP8ivhiA/Winter%2525202012%252520and%2525202013%252520011_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p>There will be more fun and fashion and artsy fartsy posts to come. Stay tuned!</p> Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08301079395889607715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-44461065321263559792011-02-06T19:27:00.002-06:002011-02-06T19:29:42.275-06:00Hell's Bells! We've got a winner!After 2 years of getting a variety of diagnoses for Perrin - ranging from autism to bipolar disorder, we finally have what I think is the most accurate diagnosis for Perrin. We went to see a neuropsychiatrist on Friday who specializes in Tourette Syndrome; this is very difficult around here, as most neurologist seem to specialize in epilepsy. He spent well over an hour with Perrin, did extensive tests that involved some sort of brain helmet thing to test for ADHD, and Perrin's diagnosis is Tourette Syndrome with severe ADHD. He said he saw no reason to believe that any of his behaviors, which often mimic autism in young children, were anything other than the typical developmental progression of TS. In fact, Perrin seemed to have outgrown many of the behaviors that led to the ASD diagnosis originally. He said this was pretty typical. I even talked with John's mom to ask if John did any of the quirky things that Perrin does that led one psychiatrist to diagnose him with autism, and of course, he did all of them. It seems that most of Perrin's issues are from the ADHD; he tested as one of the most extreme cases he has seen. This is why Perrin is behind grade level in reading, can't sit still, and is often very moody. He even showed us in the brain where all of these disorders seem to overlap, all of it centering on the area of the brain affecting Tourette's. He was brilliant! I left feeling like we finally got it right. We're going to keep him on the risperdal because it has greatly improved both his tics and his mood regulation. We are thinking of adding an ADHD med, which he says shouldn't increase his tics now that he's on meds for them. I'm hopeful. <br />He's moving to a general ed class in a new school after spring break. I know it will cause anxiety, and that we may see some noncompliance and meltdowns during this time, and I've made that very clear to the team that will likely be working with him. Luckily they will be sending a teacher's aide that has worked with him one on one for the last 2 years, and she'll stay with him for 2 weeks to help him with the transition. I feel that with this new challenge, he will have a fighting chance of catching up and doing well. He's such a bright, amazing kid, and I think people are finally seeing his potential. Talking with this doctor, who agreed that Perrin was very smart, I am feeling more optimistic than I have in a long time. <br />Since we stopped having playdates during the school week, his mood has improved vastly. He's learned at least 15 new sight words in the last 2 weeks, and his reading has significantly improved as well. I can only imagine how quickly he'll be able to progress once we get him on a good ADHD medication.Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-64208075681959784122010-12-30T09:16:00.009-06:002010-12-30T13:50:35.025-06:00Best of everything 2010This was a pretty damn good year for music, and I snatched up as much of the goodies as I could since I'm insanely obsessed with at least 2 of the bands that had amazing albums this year. I wasn't able to see a lot of movies in the theater this year; however, I did manage to see a few that I absolutely loved, and they will be on this list as well. So on to the list.<br /><br />In no particular order (until number 1) here is my shortlist of the best albums. You'll not see Eminem or Kanye on this list because, frankly, I'm sick to death of both of them. <br /><br />iamamiwhoami<br />For a year, Jonna Lee as iamamiwhoami slowly released several videos on youtube that had sensuality, mythology, and some badass electronica. Her identity was kept secret for months, and with each new video her face was revealed as Swedish folk singer, Jonna Lee. The story of the videos told of the legend of the mandragora, and every song was even more amazing and heartwrenching than the last. In October, the band had an online concert in the woods that was pure imagination and beauty. The band chose a fan from facebook, flew him out to Sweden, and then "sacrificed" him to nature. It was brilliant. I've honestly listened to this album on a loop for hours at a time because it is truly that outstanding. <br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MMroXbAmrI8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MMroXbAmrI8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Broken Bells<br />Honestly, there are few bands cooler than the merging of the lead singer from one of my all-time favorite bands, The Shins, and the supremely talented Danger Mouse (from such great bands as Gnarls Barkley). This album is bouncy and fun and sometimes dark and creepy. My favorite is "The Ghost Inside" and the video is fabulous mostly because it features the most beautiful woman in the world, Christina Hendricks. <br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rVxTsXRjNTw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rVxTsXRjNTw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Interpol<br />I do love me some moody Interpol music. Their newest album isn't as amazing as it could have been, and some songs, such as "Lights," seems to build up to a climax that doesn't come. All in all, it's a good listen. And since I'm actually going to be seeing them live for the first time in February, they go on the list from sure excitement. <br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Fjm4Bvx3ZU0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Fjm4Bvx3ZU0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />The Dead Weather "Sea of Cowards"<br />The pure cool factor from this group makes me drool from geekdom. Seriously, you combine Jack White's paley brilliance with Alison Mosshart's sultry badassness and you get a band that is so rad I get goosebumps. Sidenote: If you don't yet have "Midnight Boom" by the Kills, I highly recommend you download that baby at this very second. You will not regret it. Even my 6 year old shakes his ass to it. I can't embed the kickass video "Die by the Drop" so here's a link<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0YI0UUazkU&feature=channel<br /><br />The Twilight:Eclipse soundtrack<br />Right up front I'll say I've not read a single book or seen a single movie from this franchise, but I'll give that writer a bit of credit when I hear the soundtracks. I have zero interest in vampires that sparkle, but I'll listen to a sweet soundtrack any day. This one has quite a bit of great music on it, from the ethereal goddess herself Florence Welch to The Dead Weather. There's even a little Bat for Lashes thrown in for even more adorable goodness. <br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V_eOmvM-4zc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V_eOmvM-4zc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />And the #1 album is, of course, Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs." This album is flawlessness at its best. Growing up in the suburbs myself and having chosen to raise my child in the burbs, a lot of this album seeps into my memories of riding my bike with my cousins to the convenient store for little pocket pies. Of having absolutely nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon but waste time in the department store or go to the movies on a Friday night. It's sometimes sweet and sometimes sour, and it's all glorious. There's the hint of escape or maybe just the understanding of what you give up to get the safety and security of the cul de sac days. <br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TtbrY6QrgPw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TtbrY6QrgPw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />On to movies. <br />Can there be a "best of" list without the brilliance of "Inception?" I think not. I was actually able to see this one in the theater, and I was blown away by its inovation and intricate storyline. It didn't insult our intelligence with nothing more than impressive special effects; this was a movie with substance. It had a great plot - hey, who doesn't dig dreams - superb acting (can Ellen Page please be in more movies?), and let's face it, eye candy for the ladies. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, AND Leo? My eyes were most pleased.<br />Next up was Black Swan. I was mostly excited for this film because I love Swan Lake, and I loved the idea of a movie devoted to a ballerina struggling with creating the personas of both the white and black swan. The ballet in itself is breathtaking, and Natalie Portman needs an Oscar post-haste for being flawless. I completely believed that she was this sweet, innocent ballerina driven mad with obsession over being perfect. It gave great insight into the dedication and pain that goes into being a dancer, and yes, there is an incredibly hot girl-on-girl sex scene that even made me blush. <br />And the last film I'll mention here is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. This movie was just plain nerdy fun. Comic books, video games, ridiculously over the top fight scenes - it was just pure nerdgasm. Michael Cera, who is now quite famous for playing the geeky underdog who somehow manages to usually get the girl, plays Scott Pilgrim, a guy who must battle his new girlfriend's 7 exes in order to win her heart. It's a great story of the baggage that we carry from one relationship to the next, and how each new person has to deal with all the shit that comes with the complicated mess that was left by the last. Plus, it's just hilarious and fun. <br /><br />In personal life stuff, the very best thing that happened this year was Perrin's amazing progression in both social skills and his ability to function in school. All thanks to this incredible little pill called Risperdal. Seriously, it has saved our lives. My child learned exactly nothing in kindergarten because his moods were completely out of control, he had zero attention span, and he was constantly in a state of fight or flight. Over the summer, he learned his letters, and he has been progressively learning to read. Through the outstanding work of some incredible women in his life - these ladies will be getting their own post - my son is now spending almost half his day in a general education class and making friends. He's happy, healthy, and loving life. And so am I.Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-32611843470252098012010-10-13T17:41:00.003-05:002010-10-13T18:01:34.257-05:00Yo Yo, Roller Coaster. Pick your metaphorGetting an accurate diagnosis for children with neurological disorders has got to be the most unbelievably frustrating and seemingly random process. In the last year, we've been told Perrin is absolutely on the autism spectrum, unequivocally couldn't possibly be on the spectrum, is a textbook case of early onset bipolar disorder, and might just have autism-related mood disorders. So...in all of that chaos, how is a parent to even begin to know who is right? I have filled out questionaires, checked off boxes of behaviors, and Perrin has been through countless evaluations over the course of the last 2 years. At the end of it, we are still at the mercy of opinions. There's no scientific test, no blood work to be analyzed. It's just a list of characteristics that are then interpreted by a neurologist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist. And when they don't all agree, where the hell does that leave you? I've mostly listened to other moms and watched how Perrin interacts with other children on the autism spectrum, and for the most part, he's just like them. And in many ways, so very different. Because mixed in with all the sensory sensitivities, rigidity to routine, and mood swings is a 6 yr old boy with his own quirky personality. And he might line up his toys in a certain way because he has autism, or because he has OCD, or just because he likes them that way. It's simply impossible to know. I get told quite frequently that the label shouldn't matter to me; that he's still the awesome kid that he's always been. I do agree that regardless of the diagnosis, he's just Perrin. The kid who loves putting stickers on those paint swatches from Home Depot, who loves ketchup quite possibly more than any other human being on the planet, who has memorized pretty much every line from every show or movie he's ever seen, who collects every scrap of paper he touches, and who can melt anyone's heart with his smile. We go back for further testing with a neuropsychiatrist next month, and hopefully with that will come more answers. What I know now is that he's content and stable. He's learning at school, and he's making friends. He's truly enjoying his life right now, and honestly, what more could a parent want for their child?Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-27848258426355729582010-07-14T08:57:00.005-05:002010-07-14T09:13:39.274-05:00Fun with mosaicsI'm on a knitting hiatus while I experiment with other forms of artistic expression. First up, mosaics. I was inspired years ago at my sister's wedding by these beautiful mosaics that the owner of her wedding site created all over the place. They were massive and breathtaking, with butterflies and flowers. It looked insanely fun to do, so I thought I'd give it a try. I had some tiles left over from some stepping stones made for a friend a few years back, so I busted them out and got to work. <br />Step one was really creating the design. I had these little cork shelves lying in my closet, so I used that as the base. Once I got the image exactly as I wanted, I used a mosaic glue to stick em on. This process took forever, but with a little help from Doctor Who, it didn't seem so tedious. End product of step one.<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TD3EFNAeq8I/AAAAAAAAAeA/HS_DYSUAg-c/s1600/mosaic1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TD3EFNAeq8I/AAAAAAAAAeA/HS_DYSUAg-c/s320/mosaic1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493762714131934146" /></a><br /><br />A few days later, I attempted the hard part. Grouting. Since this was my first try, I thought it'd be easier and more convenient to use a pre-mixed grout that came in this tube. You just sort of squeeze it out over the work and push it between the tiles. Huge mistake. The grout was very thick, and it was like squeezing cement out of a tube of toothpaste. When I finished (this whole process took nearly 45 minutes b/c of the thickness), I tried to smooth it out as nicely as I could. However, due to the thickness of the grout, this ended up basically covering the entirety of the tiles with the thick goop. According to the directions, I was supposed to wait 30 minutes and then wipe off the tiles. Well, the grout had dried so much at that point, that I had to scrape it off the tiles. This process took over an hour, leaving gouges in the grout in between the tiles that were difficult to smooth. The end result is that the grout is not level with the tiles nor is it smooth. It's rather crumbly and uneven.<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TD3F9ZVGPGI/AAAAAAAAAeQ/XzPMZ-Jlm6U/s1600/mosaic2.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TD3F9ZVGPGI/AAAAAAAAAeQ/XzPMZ-Jlm6U/s400/mosaic2.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493764779023940706" /></a><br /><br /> It's not terrible for a first try, but definitely not the result I was hoping for. Next time I will mix the grout myself and actually use the proper grout spreading tool to get the pretty mosaic I'm aiming for.Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-36087703758109134322010-06-24T11:19:00.010-05:002010-06-27T15:32:17.364-05:00Your songs remind me of swimmingSummer is here, but it's being very persnickety. It seems for every gorgeous sunshiney day, we get 3 crap rainy days. I've been keeping the boy quite busy at the water park, and he started his summer session at school on Monday, freeing me up a few hours a day. What I've been doing with those days is just about exactly nothing. I've been in a weird funk. Not really blue. Not really tired. Just meh. I'm sort of stuck in this creative rut where I want to make or do something, but I'm floundering when it comes to starting something. I'm not particularly in the mood to knit. What I've been kind of wanting to try is creating mosaics. I saw this gorgeous book at Michaels the other day that showed how to do it, and I felt a slight flutter of inspiration. So, I'm probably going to start glueing tiles to everything, and I feel this may be a new obsession to replace knitting...well, just for the summer. I'll be clicking needles together again in the fall, and I may even have some things up in the shop if I get my ass in gear. My problem is there's so much to do in this life.I want to write, to sing, to dance, to paint, to knit, to read, and do it all NOW! I'm always filled with this urgency, this little knot in my belly that begs me to get up and go. <br />But alas, that's that. My mom, stepdad, and two of my stepsisters were here last week from Texas. I got to play Chicago tour guide, and I was actually pleased with my ability to not only navigate around downtown with 8 people (my aunt and uncle went with) including Perrin, but to keep from getting too anxious, thus making Perrin anxious. The result was that they dug Chicago, but spent way too much time on public transit for anyone's liking. <br />We hit up the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, Lincoln Park Zoo, and my mom got to have a Chicago style hot dog, which was her only real goal. They got a real kick out of the Chicago accents, my darling son's included. It was a great time, and I wished it could go on forever. <br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TCe0SiDZJqI/AAAAAAAAAds/L_mWDzWxHN0/s1600/me,+jessie,+ashley.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TCe0SiDZJqI/AAAAAAAAAds/L_mWDzWxHN0/s320/me,+jessie,+ashley.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487552901445920418" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TCe0R-iT8RI/AAAAAAAAAdc/ipicN8eFiOk/s1600/big+granny+and+p.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TCe0R-iT8RI/AAAAAAAAAdc/ipicN8eFiOk/s320/big+granny+and+p.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487552891911926034" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TCe1FTYw47I/AAAAAAAAAd0/b712f9V_I0w/s1600/big+granny+and+papa.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/TCe1FTYw47I/AAAAAAAAAd0/b712f9V_I0w/s320/big+granny+and+papa.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487553773682353074" /></a>Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-37737975076925439842010-05-11T13:45:00.005-05:002010-05-11T13:58:15.370-05:00If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S-mnxz-evGI/AAAAAAAAAc0/CZGkqyFMAg0/s1600/IMG_0182.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S-mnxz-evGI/AAAAAAAAAc0/CZGkqyFMAg0/s320/IMG_0182.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470087696625876066" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S-mns4fNd1I/AAAAAAAAAcs/JJJ_5t9Asro/s1600/IMG_0181.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S-mns4fNd1I/AAAAAAAAAcs/JJJ_5t9Asro/s320/IMG_0181.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470087611937552210" /></a><br />So here's the sweater I started for Kate in February. It's a design based on a photograph of a sweater she liked at a department store. I wrote out the charts for the cable and the lace and did a helluva lotta math to get this thing right. It took the better part of 2 months to complete, but she looks cute as hell, right? <br />Yarn - Woolease in oxford gray - a little less than 4 full skeins<br />The pattern itself is based on the shape of "Bobble Blue" in Interweave Knits Spring 2006. Highly modified based on her measurements and the cable and lace patterns. <br />All in all, I'm very pleased with the results. This was literally the most work I've put into a sweater, and it paid off. I think she likes it :)Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-10688073370577198752010-04-13T14:01:00.003-05:002010-04-13T14:17:10.124-05:00Florence and the Machine at House of Blues<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S8S_2VdenpI/AAAAAAAAAck/Qx8r0vcLQaY/s1600/Florence1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S8S_2VdenpI/AAAAAAAAAck/Qx8r0vcLQaY/s320/Florence1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5459699588474510994" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S8S_2BTRcDI/AAAAAAAAAcc/ChIo-N2uQqo/s1600/Florence2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 277px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S8S_2BTRcDI/AAAAAAAAAcc/ChIo-N2uQqo/s320/Florence2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5459699583062994994" /></a><br /><br />Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine has, without a doubt, the most haunting, powerful, beautiful voice I've ever heard in my entire life. Not only is she an amazing singer, but her lyrics are so enchanting, sometimes painful that it's hard not to cry when you hear her songs. "Cosmic Love" has got to be the most beautiful song ever written in my lifetime, and she has quickly become my new favorite artist. Sorry Tori; you've been usurped. <br /><br />The entire experience of this concert was amazing in every way. My darling friend Kate (my new concert buddy) and I trekked into Chicago to the House of Blues last night for the show, and we were blown away. The band started with my absolute favorite song on the album "Lungs" called "Howl" which makes me think of werewolves and Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Just awesome. The set list included pretty much every song on the album, since she only has the one album out right now. During "Drumming Song" the entire floor was literally shaking as the audience jumped up and down with the beating of the drum. Florence commented in her adorable little British voice about how awesome it was that we were making the stage shake. She took the time to talk with the audience, which I'm noticing fewer and fewer performers doing during concerts, and it's always something I loved about Tori when I saw her in Austin. It was all very cute and silly, asking us to jump up and down and raise our hands during "Rabbit Heart" and sing along, but it was much fun. Kate and I had a fabulous time, and I'm excitedly anticipating Florence's new album. If you haven't heard her, I highly recommend that you immediately buy her album. You will not regret it. <br /><br />Here's the set list<br /><br />1.Howl <br />2.Kiss With a Fist <br />3.Hurricane Drunk <br />4.My Boy Builds Coffins <br />5.Between Two Lungs <br />6.Hardest Of Hearts <br />7.Drumming Song <br />8.Cosmic Love <br />9.Blinding <br />10.I'm Not Calling You A Liar <br />11.Dog Days Are Over <br />Encore:<br />12.You've Got The Love <br />13.Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-64524991251799665442010-03-26T18:29:00.005-05:002010-03-26T18:47:46.231-05:00Shameless plea for donations :) Please read!I have this marvelously kind friend named Stacie who rocks my socks. She is a single mother to 3 gorgeous kids, and two of them have autism. Her youngest son, Erik, was just approved for an autism service dog that will be trained to aid him, keep him safe, and be a loving companion to him. The organization, Wilderwood Service Dogs, specializes in training dogs to each specific child, a process that takes a year to complete. Please visit the website at <a href="http://autism.wilderwood.org/">http://autism.wilderwood.org/</a> to see for yourself all the wonderful things these dogs can do for a child living with autism. Unfortunately, these dogs are extremely expensive, and my friend needs help in paying for this. This is an opportunity that I would hate to see her and her family be denied because of the cost. I'm working on a few fundraising opportunities locally to help her with this cause, but she needs all the help she can get. Here's where I need you. She has opened a paypal account in Erik's name, and I'm pleading with all of you to donate if you can. I know these are hard times for everyone, but if you can donate any amount, it would mean the world to this amazing family. Stacie is a true warrior who dedicates all of her being to caring for her children, and she's the most loving mother and friend anyone who could ask for. I'll be donating any money I earn through my etsy shop, so if anybody would like to get a cute hat or sweater out of the deal, hit me up. <br /><br />Donations can be made to her paypal account at <strong>eriksservicedog1@aol.com. </strong><br /><br />Thank youTuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-30026666756824920712010-03-11T20:53:00.002-06:002010-03-11T21:07:26.150-06:00Getting it right....we hopeSo here's the story. Several months ago, I felt it was time to get Perrin offially diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, since we felt it would help him with getting appropriate services for school and possibly medication should he need it. His tics were getting more severe, more frequent, and his OCD was getting out of control. We took him to a neurologist, who diagnosed him on the spot. Of course this was no surprise to us since John and I both have TS. The neurologist asked me a few additional questions about Perrin, and based on the speech and social skills delays, he also said "he's on the autism spectrum." That was it. No testing. No nothing. We accepted it b/c based on our knowledge, it seemed to fit. His behavior was similar to autistic children of my friends, so we didn't really question it. Until Perrin's behavior took a turn for the worse, he began to withdraw socially, and his mood swings became much more dire. Two weeks ago, Perrin had a manic episode that lasted for days (brought on by prozac he was prescribed for OCD) that eventually led him into a depression. We took him off his meds, went to a pscyhiatrist, and he was diagnosed with early onset bipolar disorder. Based on what she saw and heard, she said she doubted the autism diagnosis entirely but wanted to hear what the psychologist said. I scheduled an intake with the psychologist, and based on the information I gave her (prior to meeting Perrin) she said that she, too, did not think he had autism. Today the psychologist evaluated Perrin and said that she saw no evidence that would lead her to believe that he was on the spectrum. That all of his symptoms fit the Tourette Syndrome with bipolar disorder diagnosis, which she wholeheartedly agreed with. We also learned that the teaching staff and social worker at his school have felt he didn't have autism for some time, and they believed he was bipolar for days before we got the diagnosis. I feel pretty confident that we've got it right this time. Does the label matter much to me? Nah, not really. Perrin is still the quirky, special, amazing, and CHALLENGING kid that he's ever been, but I know feel that he is more likely to get the appropriate therapy now. In fact, we are starting behavioral therapy this weekend with a specialist in early onset bipolar disorder. She will help us teach the school how to teach him, how to prevent his aggressions, and understand him a little bit better. So that's where things stand now. All of the pain and chaos we've been through for the past few months finally has a face to it, and with medication and therapy, I'm hopeful Perrin can be a happier, more stable child.Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30995126.post-53309306054052621232010-02-10T09:26:00.005-06:002010-02-10T09:47:57.543-06:00Happy 6th Birthday to my live-in Zen Master<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S3LUriR5QQI/AAAAAAAAAcE/xJDEOQ4GONU/s1600-h/Fall+075.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ueDa6r0XSB0/S3LUriR5QQI/AAAAAAAAAcE/xJDEOQ4GONU/s320/Fall+075.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436641544590934274" /></a><br />Six years ago at this exact moment, I went into labor with the coolest, funniest, and most incredible human being I've ever known. I won't go into specifics on the labor, cuz nobody wants to hear all that, but I will say that I cherish every second of it all to bring this unique and special child into this world. <br />When I was pregnant with Perrin, I read this book called "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting" back when I was a more devout Buddhist than I am today. It was refreshing and honest, and there was one part that rings especially true for me today. The author compared children to zen masters in that they are ever evolving, adapting to what is around them. "They are undeniably present. They are constantly learning, developing, changing, and requiring new responses from us. As they grow, they seem to challenge every place that we might be holding an expectation, a fixed opinion, a cherished belief, a desire for things to be a certain way." Children teach us about the world, about ourselves, how to be in each moment without obsessing about what will happen in the next. Perrin has been my greatest and most faithful teacher in this way. He embodies both consistency and unpredictability. He lives in a world apart from ours, and some days I want so desperately for him to spend more time in ours, and on others, I envy him the ability to exist inside himself without thought or care to the chaos that surrounds him. He is beautiful and strange and has many gifts to give the world. I can't wait to see what he does next.Tuckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05912073881121032837noreply@blogger.com0